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Sir Patrick Stewart
Oh now this, my Anglophenian beauties, is delightful! Sir Patrick Stewart, giving it the full Fagin as a ticket tout for Funny or Die’s spoof of the gold rush surrounding tickets to the London Games. And as if that weren’t enough, we get Simon Pegg in a Speedo, and Ryan Lochte mugged for his fillings.

Watch and learn, it’s a joy from start to finish:

Note: Some of the street slang used in this video has been made up, please do not attempt to use it in real life.

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By Fraser McAlpine