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Daniel Craig as the fragrant James Bond

The link-up between certain key figures in entertainment and perfume manufacturers shouldn’t work as well as it does. It’s fine if you’re the brand-holder of Britney Spears inc. or Lindsay Lohan PLC, and you’re looking to extend the brand into new demographics, but on a basical level of human understanding, there’s a disconnect between some of the entertainers that currently have successful perfume franchises and the public’s best guess at what they probably smell like in real life.

By which I mean, some of these people might need that perfume more than others.

Not so James Bond. For all that he spends his time thwarting the machinations of evil geniuses, running across rooftops, and getting hot and sweaty with a LOT of easily-convinced female agents, this is a man who clearly values a decent cologne. And that’s why it’s not that much of a surprise to discover that Bond bosses are making a move into the world of branded fragrances, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the first Bond film, Dr No.

There will be two fragrances, one for men (with subtle top notes of roulette wheel, gin and gun oil, presumably), to be launched at Harrods on August 12, with a matching perfume for women (a surprisingly resilient brew on first encounter, redolent of white bikinis and eventual capitulation) to follow soon.

And it will be a minor miracle if they don’t manage to somehow work the phrase “shaken, not stirred” onto the packaging somewhere.

The latest Bond adventure, Skyfall, hits US cinemas in November. Here’s the trailer, which was released today:

It’s going to take more than pungency to get him out of THAT lot…

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By Fraser McAlpine