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Adele (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

Adele’s first album 19 was written largely about her first major boyfriend and the turmoil she went through when they broke up. Her second album 21 was written after she split with her second major boyfriend, and that is why it occasionally sounds like anguish on toast.

She has since had another relationship turn sour, but is adamant her next album – 23? – will not have any songs about him on it. Because that is clearly what he wants.

She told Jonathan Ross: “I know he’d be over the moon if I wrote a record about him. But no way is that boy getting a record about him. No way – he would ride that wave forever, that’s how much of a d**khead he is. He would ride that wave forever. Get a life, you idiot!”

She continued: “We’ve got the same friends and they’ll all be watching this ’cause he’s obsessed, and they’ll all be going, ‘Loser!'”

Loser, y’say? Hey, that’s a pretty good title for song…

Here’s what else is happening on Planet Now:

• Good news! There’s a new Inbetweeners movie on the way! Apparently the team were so overwhelmed at the response to the current film that they’ve decided to make a sequel, set four years after the lads’ holiday, at Neil’s wedding. (via the Mirror)

• Bad news! There isn’t a new Inbetweeners movie on the way! The show’s writer, Iain Morris, has no idea what the Mirror is talking about, and neither does Blake Harrison, who plays Neil. (via Joe)

• Good news! Gary Oldman wants to direct an action-adventure film with Colin Firth. He told Esquire: “It was something I’d been thinking about for a while, I can’t say what it is, but it’s a remake, and when I worked with Colin I thought: here’s the guy to do it with. We take it back: there’s no gizmos, no gadgets. It’s anti-Bourne, anti-Bond.”(via the Mail)

• Bad news! The UK X Factor is considering having an Amy Winehouse tribute week, which definitely won’t backfire in the faces of the contestants at all. Right? (via STV)

• Good news! Sofie Gråbøl, star of the Danish drama ‘The Killing’ is one of the celebs who will be making a cameo appearance in the reconstituted three-part Absolutely Fabulous special. (via Huffington Post)

• Bad news! John Cleese might be leaving the US soon, and it’s all politics’s fault. He told the Australian: “I’ve been very depressed by the ruthlessness and cynicism of the people in charge of the Republican Party, and it’s one of the reasons I don’t intend to go on living in America much longer.”

• Good news! Indie fans are rejoicing at the news that New Order are reforming for a couple of high-profile concerts next year. Estranged bass player Peter Hook won’t be attending, as relations between him and the others are still frosty, but Gillian Gilbert, their keyboard player who left ten years ago, is now back in the fold. (via XFM)

• Bad news! Someone appears to leaked the full cast of the UK’s Strictly Come Dancing to the internet. Don’t look! (It’s here)

• And finally! Katy Perry has turned nursemaid to Britain’s own Jessie J, who is supposed to be supporting her on a US tour, but has broken her foot, requiring a bone transplant. Katy’s advice? Get the foot fixed before you start gigging, duh! (via Contactmusic)

Colin Firth as a James Bond-type figure? How cool would that be? Tell us here:

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By Fraser McAlpine