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Jonathan Cake

The English-born Broadway performer Jonathan Cake is set to join the cast of ABC’s aging suburban soap Desperate Housewives. And he’s allegedly not going to be one of Wisteria Lane’s disposable Hunks of the Month à la Brian Austin Green. They are going all-in on Mr. Cake. He’ll appear in four episodes this season before becoming a series regular next year. (That is, once the show officially secures its renewal.)

Deadline reports that “he will play Aaron, a handsome, sexy, college-educated police detective with strong family values who becomes involved with Bree (Marcia Cross) when he comes to Wisteria Lane to investigate a case.” I know what you’re thinking: another hot actor waiting to be sacrificed at the altar of Bree Van De Kamp and all her pent-up glory. And the “strong family values” angle is slightly reminiscent of Kyle MacLachlan‘s demented dentist character, which means he’ll be psycho and gunning down Wisteria Lane residents by the end of Season Eight.

Cake has starred in The Philanthropist, Cymbeline, and Medea on Broadway, and on television, he’s appeared in the ABC series Empire, Six Degrees, and the recent Shonda Rhimes medical drama Off the Map. He isn’t the first Brit to take a Desperate role: Dougray Scott and Torchwood star John Barrowman have previously let ‘er rip on the series.

Of course, Jonathan’s surname just screams out for filthy jokes about “having your Cake and eating it too” or “break me a slice of that Jonathan Cake.” He does indeed live up to his decadent moniker.


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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.