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 We’re just days after the Prince William and Kate Middleton engagement was announced, and we still don’t have one of those irritating “Bennifer/Brangelina” combo nicknames for the royal couple? This simply can’t be. We’re really slipping as a shallow, media-obsessed nation, folks.

Well, Anglophenia is here to put the world to rights. Yes, I know this is very 2006 of us, but “William and Kate” is so unwieldly. Let’s not weary our tongues by calling people by their actual, birth-given names: we need to be able to sum them up in a couple of syllables.

So what’s it gonna be? Killiam? Wate? WillKat à la Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes‘s TomKat? Bleh. Too common. We need something that has all the sparkle and the gravitas of the monarchy itself. So I’m putting it to you all….

What should be William and Kate’s “Brangelina” name?

Anne Hathaway hosted Saturday Night Love this past weekend and, of course, dusted off her British accent to play Kate Middleton. In the skit, William and Kate make a visit to Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. All seems well until William leaves the room, and a shocked Kate discovers that her future grandparents-in-law aren’t quite what they seem.

In other ridiculously regal news:

It’s not just Willow Palin who needs to practice some Facebook restraint. According to BBC NEWS, Rt. Rev. Pete Broadbent — a Church of England bishop — took to the popular social-networking site to criticize the monarchy and the media coverage of the royal wedding. “We need a party in Calais for all good republicans who can’t stand the nauseating tosh that surrounds this event,” he wrote. He has since apologized for the “hurt” his comments caused. The Daily Mail has a photo of Broadbent and more on his rant.

– Could William and Kate’s wedding date – speculated to be April 28 – have political ramifications? (Daily Mail)

– Why did Kate choose an elegant blue gown from the designer label Issa to wear for her engagement announcement? The Daily Mail‘s Kate Melhuish gushes, “To me, Issa is the perfect Little Black Dress; if you’re unsure of what to wear, you know you can’t go wrong with a little Issa number. It’s a label with a timeless quality, ¬≠something I wore nearly ten years ago and can imagine myself wearing in ten years’ time.”

– A source tells Popeater‘s Rob Shuter that the royal wedding “will likely cost the British taxpayers over $20 million.”

The Guardian reports on how frosty relations between the royals and the press have thawed in recent years. “The photocall of William and Kate last week proved that the royal family has changed beyond all recognition from their stiff dealings with the media two decades ago. Reporters were given the privilege of an off-the-record meet and greet with the couple over a cup of tea. ‘That would never have happened 20 years ago with Charles,’ says one Fleet Street veteran. ‘Here’s a man who pretty much blames the media for killing his mum — yet he gets it.'”

– How will William and Kate educate their children? Yes, people are speculating on how William and Kate will educate their currently non-existent children already. (Telegraph)

by Kevin Wicks

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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.