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Not good, folks:

“Mr. Pattinson, interrupting his career as a virginal vampire heartthrob, looks distractingly like Louise Brooks and conveys little beyond a kind of free-floating, inscrutable freakishness.” – A.O. Scott, New York Times

“Pattinson and [co-star Javier] Beltran are stuck with a rudderless script, and they make a soft, dull pair.” – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

“Pattinson’s performance? Imagine if Prince played the lead in Amadeus.Lou Lumenick, New York Post

“Dalí is played (a trifle uncertainly) by Twilight star Robert Pattinson…” – Xan Brooks, The Guardian

Meanwhile, Pattinson says he endured some “painful gay sex scenes” while filming Little Ashes. Has no one ever heard of KY Jelly?

  • Kate Winslet is suing The Daily Mail over their vicious article, “Should Kate Winslet win an Oscar for world’s most irritating actress?,” which implied she lied about her exercise routine.(BBC)

    The Daily Mail thinks Britains Got Talent, a self-billed “family show,” is being cheap and tawdry by featuring “a host of male strippers, burlesque dancers and scantily-clad acrobats.”

  • Seems the joke was on Sacha Baron Cohen when he attempted an idiotic stunt for gay-baiting film, Bruno. An insider tells The Sun: “He’d heard that all-over hairlessness is a popular trend in the gay community, so he thought he’d bleach all his hair so it looked invisible. But it quickly turned into a disaster. Shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. He had a bad allergic reaction to hydrogen peroxide, which is a strong bleaching agent. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn’t sit down for three days.” Somewhere Ron Paul is snickering.
  • A few things you may not know about actress Tilda Swinton.(Indiewire)
  • The very married David Beckham denies dating a Hungarian model on the sly.(Daily Mail)
  • Cameras flash while Keira Knightley eats (!) chicken wings (!) with her boyfriend Rupert Friend (who is looking GOOD these days).(Daily Mail)
  • Anglophenia fave McFly will perform on an episode of Hollyoaks.(The Sun)
  • Scottish singer-songwriter Paolo Nutini is back with a new album – and The Mirror has a behind-the-scenes clip from his video, “Candy.”
  • Actor Dominic West – Det. McNulty from The Wire – has collaborated with Eminem. Yes, fellow Brit Idris Elba is definitely having the better post-Wire career.(NME)
  • Amy Winehouse is set to perform new songs at a jazz festival in St. Lucia, weather permitting.(BBC)

    The Sun has a pic of Heath Ledger in his final role in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus – directed by Monty Python‘s Terry Gilliam. Entertainment Weekly reports on the film (potential plot spoilers here).

  • While accepting an honorary degree from his alma mater, Liam Neeson spoke for the first time in public since wife Natasha Richardson‘s passing: “I think it is a message that a university always gives its students in the end: It’s time to move on, get on with your life. I got on with mine, and I’m still getting on.”(Daily Mail)
  • Manic Street Preachers bassist Nicky Wire tried to convince the rest of the band to scrap their new album, which has lyrics written by their long-missing former bandmate Richey Edwards. “James [Dean Bradfield] was like ‘After I’ve done all that work? F*** off!'” I’m on Team James with this one.(NME)
  • Unpublished George Harrison lyrics, featuring grammatical and spelling errors, have been put on display in the British Library.(The Times)
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Filed Under: Robert Pattinson
By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.