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So, today Lily Allen learned the lesson Snoop Dogg learned earlier this year: during wartime, acting a fool can and will get you banished from nations. Ms. Allen’s alleged kung fu moves in a paparazzo’s general direction got her ass arrested and continue to haunt her: upon touchdown at LAX, she was detained
for five hours and had her work visa revoked
. Nice. Lil tells The Mirror that she plans to move forward with her American tour set for this fall:

“It is my intention to play my American dates in September.

“This depends on the authorities granting me a new work visa.

“I want my fans to know that I will do everything I can to be back in America in September. I don’t like letting my fans down and this is a situation that I am sure we can sort.”

Wonkette has the best headline so far for Lilygate: “Heroic immigration officials save America from chav menace.”

Allen had reportedly said some nasty things on her Myspace blog about Courtney Love. Turns out, someone had hacked into her profile and posted the nasty bits. Love wasn’t bothered: “I wouldn’t pick on me if I was Miss Lily, as it wouldn’t take TOO much to swat, but we’ve known each other far too long, like each other far too much, and if she was gonna say something nasty she has the acerbic wit and intelligence to say something cutting, that would actually really hurt, not some clichéd hoary old chestnut some obsessed blogger would say.”

In other news:

  • Pete Doherty could see jail time for his latest drug charges if he doesn’t shape up, says a judge. (Mirror)

  • How many chances will this guy get? The BBC has a handy Pete Doherty timeline if you want to keep track.
  • Did best friend Sadie Frost fly into Spain to keep Kate Moss from going off the rails?(Daily Mail)
  • Did Prince William‘s aides force Kate Middleton to cancel her plans to cross the English Channel?(The Sun)
  • Dr. Quinn, Party Girl: rowdy Jane Seymour has been declared a town “nuisance” due to her irreverent soirées.(Mirror)
  • Sharon Osbourne opens up about her dad’s final days after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s: “It’s such a cruel, cruel illness and you are so powerless to help. It gets to a point where your brain is dead but your body’s alive which is the worst thing. He was actually in a coma for a while before he died. But I was with him when he passed away and, to be honest, it was a relief. It had been a long and terrible ordeal for him.”(Mirror)
  • Another Sienna Miller/Diddy sighting. (The Sun)
  • Is Keith Richards next on Sienna‘s bed list? (Contact Music)
  • Amy Winehouse may design a line of jeans, complete with vomit stains and authentic self-harming scratches.(Metro)
  • Amy Winehouse may appear on The Simpsons, and Mika may be set for a cameo on Hollyoaks.
  • David Beckham ‘fesses up to swiping wife Victoria‘s creams and lotions. (Mirror)
  • The Beckhams plan “his and hers” fragrances for the American market. (E!)
  • Becks schmoozed with the New York Yankees in Toronto.(Guardian)
  • Doctor Who rumor alert: Sir Ben Kingsley may play Davros, creator of the menacing Daleks.(The Sun)

    UK soap Coronation Street will air a “controversial” plot in which a 7-year-old girl is hospitalized after mistaking an ecstasy pill for candy. Didn’t Footballers Wive$ already do this with poor baby Angelica?

  • Atonement director Joe Wright to film studio bosses: “the c**t stays in the picture.” Keira Knightley, by the way, stars in the film.
    (Contact Music)
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Filed Under: Courtney Love, Lily Allen
By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.