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  • Welcome back, Heather Mills McCartney (yes, she is still married to Paul). We’ve been lost without our fabulous fabulist! Today, Heather has been accused of lying under oath in an assault case against a photographer. Heather claims the pap attacked her in the subway, but The Daily Telegraph reports “a slideshow of photographs shown to the court clearly showed Miss Mills McCartney entering the subway, making a telephone call, throwing a bottle of water over one photographer, and walking her bicycle out of the subway entrance – but no pictures of the actual assault.”

  • Paul McCartney reveals that one of the songs on Memory Almost Full is, in fact, about Heather. Oddly, it’s one of the love songs.(Mirror)
  • The Spice Girls will officially announce their reunion next Thursday, reveals The Sun‘s Victoria Newton. The girls will get some $20 million apiece, reports The Mirror.
  • The Times has published excerpts from Pete Doherty‘s diaries. He recounts the time he and two others were arrested for drugs at a McDonalds. “On leaving, a lone policeman who was in a phone box decided to make an arrest on the charge of misuse of drugs. It turns out we had been snorting coke on the serving counter, which was total shite. We were stopped, searched and manhandled. The policeman in questions said he did not know Pete (or Kate) and that the allegation had been made up by a member of the public. Back up was called and protocol was followed up to the letter. We were released with an apology. The police . . . then proceeded to have their photos taken with us.”
  • Could Morrissey‘s proposed concert in Iran help sooth relations between the West and the Middle East? Here’s the post on the True To You website where Morrissey himself responds to reader questions and mentions that possible Tehran trip.
  • Elton John, Lulu, and Shane MacGowan headlined the most high-flyin’ karaoke night ever. Those stars and others came out to Ronnie Scott’s jazz club and helped to raise what amounts to $770,000 for a Palestinian children’s charity. I’d certainly pay good money to hear Nick Cave’s rendition of Destiny Child‘s “Bootylicious.”(Daily Mail)
  • The Times completes its list of The World’s 50 Best Footballers. Milan’s Kaka came in at No. 1. “He combines Brazilian flair with European directness like nobody else,” writes The Times. “He truly is a product of two footballing cultures, a man who has all the virtues and none of the vices of either.” Ronaldinho is No. 2, Cristiano Ronaldo is a wink away at No. 3, Samuel Eto’o slides in at No. 4, and Michael Essien rounds out the top five.
  • White working-class boys are the worst performers in British schools, according to a report. (The Independent)
  • Damien Hirst has beaten Jasper Johns‘s record take at auction.(Reuters)
  • Robin Hood star Keith Allen‘s documentary premiered last night on British television. It’s called Keith Allen Will Burn in Hell, which follows him as he visits the viciously extremist Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. He talks to The Independent about it.
  • The Disney Channel will air the children’s series, Shaun the Sheep, which is produced by the makers of Wallace & Gromit.(Variety)
  • Coleen McLouglin flaunts her tanned-and-toned wares in a bikini.
    (The Sun)
  • Sad news: Jade Goody has suffered a miscarriage, sources say.
    (Daily Mail)
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.