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As if we don’t have enough crazies in the world wanting to annihilate humanity, the Cornwall National Liberation Army (CNLA) has threatened to bomb local restaurants owned by chefs Jamie Oliver and Rick Stein, reports The Daily Mail.

The CNLA is a terrorist organization that aims to secure independence for the county of Cornwall, which is situated on the extreme southwestern coast of England.

Stein and Oliver have apparently been singled out because they are outsiders who own successful businesses in Cornwall. In an email making the rounds among Cornwall locals, they say “English incomer” Stein “will feel a ‘rosy glow’ in our Cornish port of Padstow” – and I don’t think they mean that in a nice way. On Jamie Oliver, they say, “Another incomer who has caused the inflation of house and other living costs at Cornish expense and subsidized by European funding who, together with his clients and customers and the owners of the hotel, are also targets of the CNLA.”

Neither Stein nor Oliver have commented on the threats, but I’m sure they share our sentiments: folks, make soup, not war.

In other news:

  • Rachel Weisz will star in Peter Jackson‘s adaptation of Alice Sebold‘s The Lovely Bones.(BBC)

  • Calvin Harris riffs on a few “Everyday Objects” for The Guardian. I’m not sure if his act is annoying or adorable.
  • Coupling and Jekyll creator Steven Moffat has a new romantic comedy in the works titled Adam and Eve, reports The Stage. He explains: “Adam and Eve is about a love story that never happens. You have two people who are made for each other but can’t possibly be together and they are called Adam and Eve because that is the ideal couple’s name. It sounds very somber but hopefully it is funny and interesting.”
  • Sharon Osbourne has already gotten into it with fellow America’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan.(Digital Spy)
  • A “polished and fresh-faced” Lily Allen showed up on TRL yesterday, a welcome change from the disheveled and sh*t-faced one.(Daily Mail)
  • The Daily Mail goes after Kate Winslet for gaining weight and wearing a form-fitting gown. I actually think she looks better than she has in ages.
  • After the latest first-round tournament defeat, should British tennis hope Tim Henman just give it up? Neil Harmon of The Times laments, “From his present ranking of No. 54, all Henman can look forward to before Wimbledon is a plunge in status and inevitable, glum inquests into how long he wants to keep putting himself through this anguish.”
  • Six-year-old Conny sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on Britain’s Got Talent. It’s the most-watched clip on YouTube today.
  • BBC is re-examining the multi-million pound deals they pay stars like Jonathan Ross, Graham Norton, and Little Britain‘s Matt Lucas and David Walliams.(Mirror)
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.