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  • News we probably didn’t need to know, at least before eating lunch: Andrew Lloyd Webber told Jonathan Ross that ex-wife Sarah Brightman‘s assessment of his package is “entirely true. My trousers don’t fit me because of… ahem, Sarah Brightman’s comments. I think I’m going to have to change my tailor.” Yeah, that’s a man we wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot penis…(Digital Spy)

  • Ozzy Osbourne reportedly pulled out of the American Idol finale because he was to perform with Sanjaya. “Ozzie [sic] said he didn’t want to be onstage with that idiot,” sources tell Page Six.
  • Paul McCartney told Ricky Wilson of Kaiser Chiefs that “Wales is a Third World country.” Of course, mass outrage ensued, and McCartney says it was a joke. Oh, you fussy, regionalist Brits – why can’t you all just get along?(Contact Music)
  • George Michael had sleeping pills, antidepressants, and GHB in his blood when he was found slumped in his car, a prosecutor told a court today.(Guardian)
  • The Girls Aloud babes play mannequins in their new commercial. Is that redundant or spookily post-modern?(Daily Mail)
  • Lily Allen declares “Cherylgate” over.(NME)
  • Even Amy Winehouse‘s mama thinks she’s anorexic-looking.(Contact Music)
  • Tony Blair should have listened to Dizzee Rascal if he wanted some political advice, says The Guardian‘s Miles Johnson.
  • Beth Ditto, the Gossip singer who was snubbed by NME for their cover in the past, will finally grace the front of the magazine. Naked.(Guardian)
  • Beth Ditto bows at the feet of the “amazing” Kate Moss and blames the gays for eating disorders among women.
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.