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If Johnny Borrell had the slightest desire of conquering the States, dating Kirsten Dunst was the best shot he was gonna get. Now reports are coming out that the couple has split – and that Borrell, of all people, did the dumping. From News of the World via Digital Spy: "Johnny has realised she's not the one for him. He dumped her at the weekend and has gone back to his old girlfriend."

No need for Kirsten to seek revenge on Borrell in the papers: The Daily Telegraph's Bernadette McNulty dismissed the notoriously egotistical Borrell with stunning economy in a review of a Razorlight concert:

Half way through, the by-now classic "Borrell" moment came: the lights switched from blue to red and he ripped off his T-shirt.

Lacking the sexual charge of a Michael Hutchence, he instead has the look of naked chastity that would have fitted well in Germaine Greer's Beautiful Boys book. And despite the clement spring weather, the tight buds of Borrell's nipples suggested it wasn't warm enough to go without a top just yet.

On to this week's charts: not much change. That Proclaimers remake has made itself at home at No. 1 for the third straight week, with Avril Lavigne and Gwen Stefani nipping at its wheelchair rims. Timbaland's new club classic enters at No. 8, and I'm trying my best to ignore the song at No. 6.

1. Proclaimers/Brian Potter/Andy Pipkin – (I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles
Watch the video

2. Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend
Watch the video

3. Gwen Stefani Ft Akon – The Sweet Escape
Watch the video

4. The Fray – How To Save A Life
Watch the video

5. Alex Gaudino Ft Crystal Waters – Destination Calabria
Watch the video – Must be 18 or older

6. Mark Ronson Ft Daniel Merriweather- Stop Me
Watch the video

7. Fergie Ft Ludacris – Glamorous
Watch the video

8. Timbaland Ft Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake – Give It To Me
Watch the video

9. Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby
Watch the video

10. Beyoncé and Shakira – Beautiful Liar
Watch the video

In other news:

  • The Daily Mail insinutates trouble in Catherine Zeta-Jones' marriage to Michael Douglas with a pic showing her holding hands with her latest co-star, Aaron Eckhart. A source slaps down any innuendo: "I don't quite believe that there is anything going on with her and Eckhart. He's a Mormon and very strait-laced, and I just don't think it's her style."

  • A deeply unflattering painting of Madonna and Guy Ritchie. (Daily Mail)
  • Niki Caro, director of Whale Rider and North Country, is developing an adaptation of The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky, Ken Dornstein's memoir about the Lockerbie airplane bombing. (BBC)
  • Sean Connery still isn't sure that he'll reprise his role in the latest Indiana Jones installment. (BBC)
  • Joss Stone's family wants her to leave the US and return to Britain.
    (Digital Spy)
  • Nadine Coyle and Jesse Metcalfe to announce their engagement?
    (Digital Spy)
  • Robbie Williams' mum says her son will likely re-join Take That. (NME)
  • '80s band Spandau Ballet ("True") looks to be on the verge of reuniting – even though they spent the better part of a decade suing each other. (BBC)
  • David Beckham displays a new tattoo on his arm. (Daily Mail)
  • Kate Moss makes some icky faces while out with daughter Lila Grace and her ex, Jefferson Hack. (The Sun)
  • Kate Moss and Beth Ditto perform a sight gag for the paparazzi on their Girls' Night Out. (Daily Mail)
  • Charlotte Church dares to go bare on the beach with her new baby bump. (Daily Mail)
  • Sienna Miller admits her breasts and thighs are airbrushed in photos.
    (Daily Mail)
  • Geoff Knights, longtime companion of Footballers Wive$ star Gillian Taylforth, has been arrested for throwing a telephone at a receptionist in a Barbados hotel. Yeah, dude, you're no Russell Crowe. (Mirror)
  • Daniel Radcliffe is really, really effin' rich. (The Sun)
  • Heather Mills "has been bombarded with offers of work on American TV since her success on Dancing With The Stars," including a stand-in hosting job on Larry King Live, which only serves to piss off Sam Champion fans. (Mirror)
  • Russell Brand and Robbie Williams compare notes on bedding babes. At least, that's the fantasy Victoria Newton's having. (The Sun)
  • Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy sneak a snog on their hotel balcony in Antigua. (The Sun)
  • Lulu enjoyed her mentoring role on American Idol so much that she says she'd gladly do it full-time. (Daily Record)
  • Wendy Richard, Miss Brahms from Are You Being Served? and the late Pauline Fowler from EastEnders, will star in a new comedy, Here Comes the Queen. "My character won't be glamorous because she is a lady of a certain age but she will be smart. She is Miss Brahms a few years down the line." (Mirror)
  • Mutya Buena, formerly of Sugababes, gives her appraisal of the UK music scene: "Right now, the talent in England is what everyone wants to listen to…No one cares if they've got a cigarette, a pint in their hand, you can go on stage without makeup now and look the way you wanna look! When I was in the Sugababes, everything out during my time was so perfected. Now, I see guys not brushing their hair, even on the poppiest show. And this is what English talent's about. About not giving a sh*t."
  • Which day jobs are best for writers? (Guardian)
  • HBO Films and BBC are teaming up to do "a series of adaptations of small plays," including Caryl Churchill's A Number, starring Tom Wilkinson and Rhys Ifans. (Hollywood Reporter)
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.