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Wire in the Blood. Rocket Man. Touching Evil. Trust. You may think you’ve seen all there is to see of Robson Green, but you certainly ain’t seen him like this, and you may – soon: photos of the 42-year-old heartthrob sporting some truly majestic wood could hit YouTube any day now. For a sex scene in the new ITV drama, City Lights, Robson wore a prosthetic willy to show on-screen wife Nicola Stephenson just how much he cared. She tells The Sun:

“For the love scene with Robson he had to wear a foam penis in his boxer shorts to show that he was ‘up for it’. It was just hilarious.

“It looked so real that I took a picture of Robson wearing it on my mobile phone. The trouble is I’ve since lost the phone so someone has got that picture! It could end up on the Internet on somewhere like YouTube!”

I don’t know who should be more humiliated: Robson, for his Nerf penis implant, or Ms. Stephenson, for not inspiring the real little Robster to stand and deliver. But Mr. Green, who’s been a great sport in this, ain’t bovvered:

“Knowing my luck they will turn up on some dodgy website, but as long as I look good then I’m fine with it.”

Oh yes. In regards to viewing your johnson, Robson, I think we can safely say that we Internet users are simply gagging for it.

In other news:

  • Gareth Hunt of The New Avengers has died at 65.(BBC)

  • Take That‘s gonna get a Mamma Mia-esque musical devoted to the boy band’s biggest hits.(Guardian)
  • In the wake of the Paul McCartney news, The Guardian‘s Laura Barton is worried about how a Starbucks record label will affect general music tastes.”Just as Tesco’s sheer buying clout now makes the supermarket the grand overlord of our book-reading habits, the involvement of the ‘middle-class McDonald’s’ in the music industry is a little unnerving.”
  • If you thought Cilla Black was sitting in her chaise needlepointing and sipping Metamucil like an old grandma, you’d be mistaken. The 64-year-old pop legend is randier than ever, according to her interview with The Mirror: “Younger men have the energy but normally they don’t have the intellect. And I have a rule: Not to date anyone I could have given birth to! I prefer men over 50, but I am very friendly with a 45-year-old Liverpudlian.”
  • The Mirror wins this year’s award for best headline so far: “Fur Fox Sake Kate.”
  • Heather Mills told Good Morning America that she’s not nervous at all about Dancing With the Stars: “I don’t really get nervous – unless I’m going to meet a potential mother-in-law, so that’s not gonna be happening.” (Mirror)
  • With Heather out of the picture, The Sun‘s Victoria Newton twists her poison pen into her latest victim, Joss Stone. “She left for America a few years ago as an innocent Devon schoolgirl – and returned a crazed Yankee diva with a dodgy red perm. Her Brits appearance made her a national laughing stock and now it looks like her meteoric fall from grace will be complete this weekend when she fails to make the Top Ten of the album charts.”
  • The Sun says Lily Allen could be arrested for her “kung-fu” incident with snappers.
  • Sienna Miller doesn’t appreciate Perez Hilton calling her “Sluttyienna.” She tells The Sun: “I’ve heard what my nickname is, which I was mortified about. It’s not true.”
  • Speaking of Sienna’s bedfellows: Is Lindsay Lohan laying down the Law?
  • Elton John celebrates his star-studded 60th birthday in campy military garb.(Daily Mail)
  • Blue Peter, the beloved UK children’s show, is the latest UK program to be hit with a phone-in voting scandal: “Viewers were invited to call a premium rate competition line during a live program to win a toy. But due to a ‘technical failure,’ a telephone caller was not selected. Instead a member of staff asked a child who was visiting the studio to phone in and give their answer. That child was then awarded the prize.”
  • The Independent enlists Alan McGee to discuss The Libertines‘ impact on British music: “The Kooks and The Fratellis and The View are probably the bands you can most call ‘post-Libertine’. The Kooks are like a poppy Doherty – they sound like The Libertines’ acoustic demos. The View are Up the Bracket-period Libertines, and The Fratellis have just got that Libertines stomp.”
  • Kaiser Chiefs is already working on their third album?(NME)
  • Morrissey has announced his US tour, which will finish at Madison Square Garden on June 30th.(NME)
  • Tim Footman, writing in The Guardian, asks The Smiths to please please please let him get what he wants and reform. “why is my overriding desire for the next 12 months to see Morrissey and Marr (and the lawnmower parts) to put creative differences and court cases behind them, take the shilling for a criminally vulgar reunion concert, and risk tainting my memories? Too many memories …”
  • Modest Mouse‘s Isaac Brock said he isn’t starstruck by Smiths guitar hero Johnny Marr. “I like the Smiths, don’t get me wrong. But I wasn’t all that boisterous about them. ”
  • Coldplay’s Chris Martin slags off the music industry, saying, “All that matters in music today is that your song becomes a ringtone.”
  • James Nesbitt (Murphy’s Law, Cold Feet, Jekyll) is no longer the face of Yellow Pages, the company said, as they want to focus on real people.
  • Naomi Campbell will auction off the scrubs she wears for community service.
  • It’s been a rough week for Trinny from What Not To Wear: the TV fashionista was in tears yesterday after a row with her teammates during a Comic Relief version of The Apprentice. Comedian/politician Alastair Campbell reportedly pushed her through a door, Cheryl Cole asked her if she was OCD, and Piers Morgan called her a “banshee.”(Mirror)
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Filed Under: Robson Green
By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.