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It’s hardly news that Noel Gallagher talks crap about other singers, but Thom Yorke, for one, isn’t going to take it anymore. The Radiohead frontman hit back at the Oasis singer/guitarist’s comments that Yorke’s lyrics are too doom-and-gloom, according to Gigwise:

“No matter how much you sit their [sic] twiddling, going, ‘We’re all doomed,’ at the end of the day people will always want to hear you play ‘Creep.’ Get over it.

“I never went to fucking university. I don’t know what a paint brush is; I never went to art school.”

Posting on Radiohead’s official website Yorke retorted to the university comments by saying: “I did. It taught me to respect other artists.”

Gigwise hands this round over to Yorke, but I feel it’s closer to a draw. Gallagher is a twat for bragging about his lack of education (it’s not a class thing…if you don’t know what a paint brush is you’re flucking ignorant). But he’s dead-on about Yorke’s lyrical gnashing and thrashing. You can respect art without mincing your words.

At least, Noel’s consistent: he and brother Liam Gallagher reportedly had a falling-out over Liam’s “nasal” performance at the Brit Awards, according to The Sun. Liam’s voice is gone, I tell you, and has been for quite some time.

Good news: Oasis‘ forebearers, The Jam, are reuniting. Bad news: they are doing it without Paul Weller. What the fluck? That’s almost as bad as a Morrissey-less Smiths. What, do they think they can stick somebody like Steve Winwood in there and have them croon “A Town Called Malice” or “The Eton Rifles”? It’s just not done.

Speaking of pathetic, how is it possible that Foofy-foofy has spent a fifth week atop Britain’s pop charts? At the Brit Awards, I so wanted to ask Ricky Wilson how he felt about “Ruby” denied its rightful Number One spot. I’m sure Ricky would have been nice about it, much nicer than I would have been. In more promising news, Take That‘s Brit performance has brought “Patience” back to the top ten.

1. Mika – Grace Kelly
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2. Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby
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3. Akon Ft Snoop Doggy Dogg – I Wanna Love You
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4. Just Jack – Starz in Their Eyes
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5. Fall Out Boy – This Aint a Scene, It’s an Arms Race
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6. Mason – Exceeder
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7. The Fray – How To Save A Life
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8. Gwen Stefani Ft Akon – The Sweet Escape
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9. Jojo -Too Little Too Late
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10. Take That – Patience
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Playing catch-up over the last few days:

The Qantas flight attendant who claims she had some love in the lav with a randy Ralph Fiennes has been sacked by her employer.

Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan are done (!), and Hugh plans to attend Liz Hurley‘s wedding.

In the coming days, I’ll talk about my week in London a bit and how hard it is for a black man to a get a cab there. Yes, while I stood at 2 am in Piccadilly Circus, I was guilty of an HWB…Hailing While Black.

In other news:

    In a Times interview, John Simm admits that he initially rejected Life On Mars after reading the script and discovering its back-in-time concept. “I went, ‘Er, what?’, and went back to see if I’d missed something. Then my agent rang and said, ‘Did you finish reading that thing?’ I said, ‘No way. I’m not doing that’. He said, ‘Why?’ ‘It’s just stupid. I’ve put it in the bin’. He said, ‘Take it out of the bin and finish it because it’s not stupid. It’s all right actually’. So I did, and thank God I did. I’m so glad.” Simm, a once dedicated clubber, also admits he doesn’t party like he used to.

  • I big heart this man: Bryan Ferry waves off Simon Cowell‘s dismissal of Bob Dylan in The Times. “Shortly before this conversation, Simon Cowell had said of Dylan: ‘A singing poet? It just bores me to tears.’ (Thus is one of music’s most significant bodies of work consigned to the dustbin of history.) ‘Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?’ Ferry laughs contemptuously.”
  • Simon Cowell says he’s “too old” for kids. I think the kids win in this case.
    (Daily Mail)
  • Morning chat hosts, Richard and Judy, are the latest British TV personalities to face a scandal over phone voting.(Daily Mail)
  • Critics rubbish Jamie Oliver‘s range of pots and pans.(Daily Mail)
  • Another article on why Hollywood goes to Britishactors and actresses for those elite roles, this time in the LA Times.Found via Playgoer.
  • At a charity event, a tearful Kelly Osbourne revealed to the audience that an unnamed relative of hers has been diagnosed as HIV+.(The Sun)
  • It’s like The Beatles teaming up with The Stones but gayer: Sugababes and Girls Aloud do promo shots for their Comic Relief single, a remake of Aerosmith‘s “Walk This Way.”(The Sun)
  • Kylie Minogue is collaborating with some random Scottish DJ/producer/songwriter on her new album.(NME)
  • The Independent sits down with Amy Winehouse, who reveals she reads her bad press. “It doesn’t really bother me. It’s all water off a duck’s back. People around me might get shit for it. My boyfriend’s mum keeps telling him I have a drink problem – she says she read it in the newspaper and tells him that he’s got to tell me to stop drinking. It’s embarrassing. People at work are saying to her that her ‘daughter-in-law’ is an alcoholic. It’s also tough on my parents because they are protective of me. It must be hard for respectable people. (…)”
  • Amy covers The Zutons’ “Valerie” and The Killers cover Dire Straits’ “Romeo and Juliet”.
  • Ricky Wilson proves refreshingly untortured by his celebrity and makes a slight jibe at Radiohead.(The Times)
  • Pete Doherty is bad for Kate Moss‘ skin, says The Daily Mail. “We’re used to seeing pictures of Pete Doherty looking greasy, spotty and off his head. But his girlfriend Kate Moss usually keeps a look of supermodel serenity about her. Until now.”
  • Peaches isn’t the only naughty little Hell-dof. Meet her terrifying 15-year-old sister, Pixie.(Daily Mail)
  • The Guardian scrambles to think of a decent sitcom that aired on Britain’s ITV (the birthplace of Cracker and Footballers Wive$, amongst other things). “No, Men Behaving Badly was only on there for one series, and it was the worst series of them all. No, Entourage clearly doesn’t count, it’s on ITV2 and a buy-in. But what else does that leave us with? Only When I Laugh? Duty Free? In the holy name of Morecambe (Eric, obviously), that was 23 years ago, had a frighteningly similar “sit” to Benidorm, and it wasn’t even that funny then.”
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.