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British entertainers had better be glad that the Brit awards are happening this week. Artists like James Blunt and Corinne Bailey Rae were left empty-handed as those naughty Dixie Chicks took home award after award. And last night’s BAFTAs, which aired on BBC AMERICA, weren’t the patriotic celebration of UK film that people had hoped. Helen Mirren won, of course – please, a snub would have been sacrilege – but home-field favorites like Daniel Craig (The Sun refers to him as James Bombed), James McAvoy, and the twice-nominated Emily Blunt saw their fortunes dim. Even the BAFTA’s Rising Star award went to a French woman (Eva Green).

Thankfully, being British is a pre-requisite for winning most Brit awards, which will be handed out on Wednesday. There’s been one major development: the eleven-nominee longlist for the Best British Single award has been whittled down to just five by radio voters. Here’s the final shortlist:

This is a very testosterone-heavy list; all of the women – Corinne Bailey Rae, Sandi Thom, Leona Lewis, and Lily Allen – have been cut out. But it’s an admirable selection nonetheless. I don’t like that peppy, happy, Paxil Feeling song; give me bereft, morose Feeling or none at all.

Meanwhile, Mika spends an insane fourth week on the top of the UK charts, and his debut album entered at No. 1, even beating Bloc Party, Fall Out Boy, and Snorah Jones. They like him, they really like him, walk out the effin’ door.

1. Mika – Grace Kelly
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2. Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby
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3. Just Jack – Starz in Their Eyes
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4. Fall Out Boy – This Aint a Scene, It’s an Arms Race
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5. Mason – Exceeder
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6. The Fray – How To Save A Life
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7. Jojo -Too Little Too Late
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8. The View – Same Jeans
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9. Akon Ft Snoop Doggy Dogg – I Wanna Love You
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10. Gwen Stefani Ft Akon – The Sweet Escape
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In the wake of that new Kaiser Chiefs song, The Independent looks at the use of the name “Ruby” in other rock hits.

In other news:

  • Did a randy Ralph Fiennes have sex with a flight attendant in an airplane restroom? The cabin girl denies it, but The Daily Mail reports that the scandal has reached such a fever pitch that she’s gone into hiding.

  • What’s eating Thandie Newton? (Telegraph)
  • Actress Kate Winslet plans to sue Grazia magazine over claims she visited a diet doctor in California. “I know I am a role model to young women, it’s a role I take very very seriously. I would never want anyone to think I was a hypocrite in doing something like going to a diet doctor,” she told Radio 1. (BBC)
  • Camilla will undergo a major surgery, he spokesperson has announced. The Daily Mail speculates that it is a hysterectomy.
  • Charlotte Church admits she’s a piss-poor chatter-upper on telly. (The Sun)
  • Jamelia gets naked for PETA–and reveals her trunk is lacking junk. (The Sun)
  • James Morrison kvetches that he’s tired of James Blunt comparisons, calls Blunt’s album a “bit wet,” claims he could beat Blunt in a wrestling match (strip to those unitards, mates!), reveals a 28-year-old girlfriend, lauds Rod Stewart, and hints at self-loathing all in the confines of a Sun chat. Then, he talks America in the Telegraph.
  • Pissed-off Kylie Minogue fans have been hankering for Olivier Martinez‘s head for hurting their girl. Kylie is urging them to hold their weapons. (The Sun)
  • The Daily Telegraph has 60 years of BAFTA archive footage.
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.