This browser is supported only in Windows 10 and above.

Texas: The Three Star State

Yee haw again! Here we are in the One Star State, which I think is a bit unfair as it seems fine to me, I’d give it three stars at least.

Georgie & Poppy learn to ride longhorn bulls with instruction  from Russell Tiner.

It’s nice to be back in the country, although it can’t seem to make up it’s mind if it wants to be baking hot or freezing cold. I can’t tolerate either, although I’m better with cold, thanks to the plumbing at Eton and Caunty. Sometimes I’d wake up with the blankets frozen straight onto my skin.

It looks like we’ll be getting into some Latino culture while we’re here. I can’t wait! I absolutely love Frittata.

Georgie joins in the line dancing. San Antonio, TX.

First up we had a Spanish lesson, which was a lot harder than I expected. I mean, my parents spent a good wad of cash to have me learn Latin, the root language, at school, but I couldn’t understand one word of Spanish. Such a shame.

However, those people know how to do meat and thankfully food made up the bulk of the lesson. I tasted a great range of foods and I have to say the spice seems to have shocked my bowels out of their jet-lag, and I’ve been regular as clockwork (about every 45 minutes) since.

Poppy wasn’t impressed. I think the menu was a bit too rustic for her. The only tongue I’ve ever seen her put in her mouth was Hugo’s, but she even spat that out eventually.

Later on we went to a very strange place: a taxidermist’s studio on the outskirts of San Antonio. It was very spooky. You have to get the outside of an animal and put it on over a pretend inside. It reminded me of Mummy putting on a fur coat, except the sides met a lot more neatly.

Poppy holding stag horns above her head in the Safari Life Taxidermy studio.

Then Poppy and I went to meet some lovely cheerleaders. Though I would have sent their stupid Bobcat mascot straight to the taxidermist. The little git kept poking me.

Poppy was, as you’d expect, a superb cheerleader. She was walking all over everybody within five minutes, and at the top of the pyramid in ten. Absolutely sensational. And she didn’t look at all slutty in her cheerleaders outfit, unlike some of those girls you see in mucky magazines. So luckily I didn’t think about that at all.

Poppy & Georgie with the cheerleading team.

Then it was onto the classic Texas experience – first riding a horse, then a bloody great cow!

Poppy is a natural horsewoman. To see her astride a great beast is indeed a thing of wonder. Sadly I’m allergic to absolutely everything, so even though I love animals with all my heart, eventually, one day, they will kill me when my respiratory system becomes too weak to cope with the allergens.

I also tend to fall off things quite a lot.

Case in point I fell off that ruddy great cow as we were pootling down the main street in Bandera. I’m used to the humiliation now though. At last year’s county show I fell off a pig.

Hey ho. Until next week, chaps and lassies.

Read More