Comments on: 10 Things to Consider Before Getting Pregnant in America

By: Caren

Caren — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 04:49:00 +0000

You get a year off! I got 6 lousy weeks with no pay at all plus a promise of dismissal if I didn’t “get my ass back in here”. Stay in the UK and enjoy the baby.

By: MLK1

MLK1 — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:24:00 +0000

I unexpectedly found myself pregnant, aged 42, a mere 6 weeks after moving to the US to be with my US citizen husband. I was a high risk pregnancy and had amazing medical care all the way through.
My husband saved his leave so that he could stay home with me for 2 weeks following my c-section to help with the baby. The lack of paternity leave can be worked around, if your other half can be flexible about when he takes his annual leave (and if he’s entitled to any annual leave in the first place!)
The one thing the article doesn’t mention is the time lapse between receiving your medical care and when the bills arrive. We got hit with a huge one more than a year after the procedure itself was carried out. We have a low co-pay but even so costs really do add up.
The most negative aspect of birth in the US vs UK for me was the lack of follow up, no health visitors come calling. I was left caring for my newborn, myself post c-section and dealing with my already chronic ME all alone with no family support beyond my husband. The hospital call you a week later to ask if you are OK and give you a number to call if you think you may be suffering from post partum depression.

I’ve coped, but it’s been really tough going.

By: K

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:08:00 +0000

Just a note, you do not HAVE to go to a pediatrician. I have gone to a “family doctor” my entire life and it worked out very well for my parents–I did not have to switch doctors when I turned 18, and my mother and I could both get a check up in the same appointment.

By: expatmum

expatmum — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:13:00 +0000

You took the word’s out of my mouth. I would definitely advise even people with the “best” insurance to check out the deductibles and co-pays etc Many insurance coverage will still leave you with quite a bill. In my case we have a high deductible (because we’re the employer, therefore technically self-employed) and we also have to pay 20% of all bills. With my last c-sections the bill was eye-watering.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:00:00 +0000

I’m on the opposite side of this matter, a US citizen living in the UK, and I must say I agree with many of your points.

1. Good insurance is very important while living in the US. Insurance can be pricey, but it is worth it.

2. Couples should always consider who will be able to stay home with the new baby prior to ttc. For many couples, they might find it more cost effective and mentally satisfying for one of them not to return to work. A good daycare is expensive.

3. Paternity leave is still catching on in both the US and UK. My husband will not be getting much of anything here in the UK if we decide to have a baby. Sadly I think most of society still views having children as a woman’s responsibility.

4. The lack of a pediatrician is terrifying to me. Bringing a newborn into the clinic for checkups is disgusting. No clinic I have seen here has a separate area for well or sick care. In the States my pediatrician’s office had a section for well children, a section for sick children, and a section for newborns. The sick care section had its own door and reception area so they weren’t exposing the other children to illness. Also adults and children require different care and different approaches to collecting data. Not all GPs are great with children. I honestly prefer the US style care for this aspect.

5. Good point about not being able to travel home for an extended period of time.

6. Hopefully by the time you decide to ttc, you will be settled enough in your new area and have made a few friends. It will be hard without someone your very close to and trust, but there are ways of making things work. I am hoping to have my parents for the first 2-3 weeks stay with us.

7. Excellent point! I don’t think it ever crossed my mind to think about my visa when considering having a baby. I will definitely keep that in mind until I have my ILTR.

8. After watching One Born Every Minute I told my husband there was no way in the world I would have a child here in the UK. It was terrifying! I in no way want a nurse delivering my baby. Sorry, I know there are some excellent midwives out there, but here in the UK you don’t really get to choose who you get, and seeing that show scares me to death I will end up with one of those morons. I think there was one in the episode that I thought was competent. (I am a nurse myself BTW) I don’t want someone talking to me like a moron. I don’t want them to tell me I don’t want an epidural. Excuse me, but nitrous oxide is for the dental office where you get your teeth work complete not for having a baby. I want the strong stuff and I don’t want my wishes questioned. I saw one midwife on that show tell the woman in labour she was fine with the gas when she asked for an epidural. YIKES! I also want a doctor to deliver my baby in case there are complications. I don’t want to wait for a midwife to have to phone a doctor when an emergency arises. I want a clinical birth not a hocus-pocus holistic one. Also, I see far too many forcep births. We are looking into private healthcare here, but even that seems to be all midwives. I refuse to get pregnant here in the UK unless I am certain my child will be delivered by a doctor. It sounds nuts, but the thought of someone other than a doctor delivering my baby causes me to have panic attacks. Seriously it makes me feel like I’ve moved to a third world country with the hoops one must jump through to see an actual doctor instead of a nurse. (This is not just an issue with childbirth but healthcare in general here. I think many Americans would be shocked to make an appointment with a GP only to see the Nurse Practitioner.). –Sorry for the rant, but this is so scary and bizarre to me

9. While I think having a doula is a nice thing if you can afford it I don’t think it is that important that is requires careful consideration prior to ttc. I do not know anyone who has actually used a doula. Your spouse or partner can easily take the doula role to support you during childbirth.

10. I think this one is fairly easy going the opposite way. The US government does not provide any of this, and a non-citizen isn’t entitled to anything here in the UK other than healthcare, even if your spouse and child are citizens. (please note I could be incorrect, but I am going by what the visa office stated to us)

By: Gilbert

Gilbert — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 21:23:00 +0000

And of course any child born in the USA is automatically a US citizen

By: Alison

Alison — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 20:00:00 +0000

To clarify, if a woman opts for an out-of-hospital birth and decides the pain is too much, she can absolutely choose to go into the hospital to get pain meds. I’m a home birth midwife in the US, and it is ALWAYS an option, though very, very rarely does someone choose to go in during labor just for pain relief.
Also, many of us do the entire prenatal care, labor, birth, postpartum, and newborn care until the baby is 6 weeks old for less than most people’s co-pays at the hospital.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 19:33:00 +0000

I just gave birth to my third child in the US, and even though we have “good” insurance, we still had to pay over $3,000 out of pocket, and that is just for the hospital bills. It does not include all of the after care the baby gets at the pediatrician. The costs to the civilian is insane. Stay in Britain where you don’t have to worry about paying for your baby for years to come.

By: dw

dw — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:45:00 +0000

When my brother had his second baby (in the UK) his wife went into labour prematurely. He and his wife had to drive for over three hours, through several cities, to find an NHS hospital with any space in its premature intensive care unit. This was in the densely populated, prosperous south of England, not the remote highlands of Scotland. I could hardly believe the story when he told me.

Some aspects of the birth process are undoubtedly better in the US (provided you have insurance).

By: Arakiba

Arakiba — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:10:00 +0000

My advice to Brits would be to wait until they return home to have a child. In addition to the lack of job security for pregnant women, the cost of American healthcare, and the general lack of leave after giving birth, there are some states where doctors aren’t permitted to tell prospective parents if there is a fetal abnormality. This is a Republican strategy to attempt to decrease the number of abortions. There are also some American hospitals (usually Catholic hospitals) that won’t intervene to save a woman’s life if doing so might lead to a miscarriage. Yes, they will let women die to further their ideology, so think twice before deciding to have a baby in the US.