The date is October 18, 1864. We open on lovers Elizabeth Haverford and Kevin Corcoran – Elizabeth’s literally humming with joy, and Corky’s sporting the biggest smile we’ve seen all season, a cocky postcoital (I believe this is one word) grin that’s quite adorable. It’s a lovely scene that’s instantly ruined when Detective Buzzkill brings up his favorite topic of discussion – Annie.
Elizabeth insists Annie’s livin’ the good life with a respectable family in a house with ocean views in San Fran, aka Fantasy Island. She spins her web of lies, sealing each untruth with a kiss, and Corky laps it up. He’s just relieved Annie’s not with John Reilly, that lunatic child molester claiming to be Annie’s father. Cue Elizabeth’s panic face – the look of a woman who just realized she pawned off her adopted child to a deranged psychopath. Oops?
After a failed attempt to rescue Annie (Ms. Haverford could use a tutorial on intimidation from Eva), Elizabeth turns to Morehouse for help. His advice? ‘Fess up to Corcoran, and fast. “Corky is like a mad dog,” Robert warns. “The longer he chews on the bone, the sharper his teeth get.” Wise words, but alas, it’s too late – Mad Dog Corky is already chomping at the bit.
Say what you will about Annie, but for better or worse, the girl is a brilliant manipulator. She convinces her husband he’s about to get lucky, and the second he loosens her shackles, she grabs a scythe and disembowels the guy. Annie hightails it back to Five Points, where she gives Kevin the lowdown on where she’s been. Judging from Kevin’s reaction, it might be a good time for Elizabeth to make like Jasper and set sail for Halifax.
But she doesn’t. And then this happens:
But oh, it gets worse. Elizabeth heads to the Morehouse mansion to make a few more bad decisions…
In other Five Points relationships gone horribly wrong, Maguire and Lockwood’s engagement is officially off. Turns out Mary was blackmailing men listed on abortionist Grindle’s ledger. Lockwood allegedly heads to England with another guy while Maguire heads to Eva’s Paradise to get naked and belligerently drunk.
But not all love is lost – the Freemans are expecting!
Five (More) Points
Who’s a Southern Sympathizer?
This week Morehouse makes a new friend – a terrorist named Thomas Kennedy. If Lincoln beats McClellan in the upcoming election, Kenney (a former Union war prisoner) plans to burn New York City to the ground. (Spoiler alert: Lincoln totally wins.) So has Morehouse turned to the dark side?
Playing with Greek Fire
Kennedy’s secret weapon is Greek Fire, a combustible liquid that catches fire without a match, and is so potent it can burn on water. Greek Fire was the weapon of choice for Byzantines in 678AD, but good luck trying to make a batch today. The original recipe was lost.
“Hey, it’s a whorehouse. People are trying to concentrate.” – Corcoran to a wailing Maguire
Title of the Next Episode: Better Times Are Coming
We doubt it.
RIP John Reilly.
In hog heaven.
So, what did you think of last night’s episode? Will Corcoran ever forgive Elizabeth? Is Morehouse in cahoots with terrorists? Anyone inspired to become a vegetarian after saying goodbye to John Reilly? Sound off in the comments below!