We make jokes at their expense - and they provide more than enough material - but the truth is, Jordan and Peter Andre have endured more than their share of tragedy in recent years - Jordan's miscarriages, numerous health scares for their young son, and now Peter Andre's illness. You probably know that the Australian singer was hospitalized last weekend after a "bout of vomiting and diarrhea." His status has failed to improve over the past few days, and doctors now believe that Peter is suffering from meningitis. Jordan and Peter Andre's spokeswoman made this statement today:

"Following recent tests on Peter Andre at the East Surrey Hospital, it believed that Peter is suffering from suspected meningitis.

"Peter was admitted last weekend, and at this time we do not have an expected date of discharge."

• Was an attack that killed two British soliders last week a "practice run" for an attack on Prince Harry? (The Times)
  
  
• Andrew Lloyd Webber moves ahead of Paul McCartney in The Sunday Times Rich List of Music Millionaires. (The Independent)
  
  
• Daniel Craig really objects to having his arse snapped. (Mirror)
  
  
• David Beckham steals his wife's hairdo. (Mirror)
  
  
• Lily Allen has a plan to turn Victoria Beckham's frown upside down. "She never ever smiles. It's always the same expression with her lips stuck as far out as she can push them. I'm going to put Vaseline on them to make her smile next time there's a camera around. Then we can find out whatever it is she's hiding in her mouth." (Contact Music)
  
  
• A day after his "baked beans" attack on a photographer made news, Hugh Grant has accepted libel damages over newspaper reports about his breakup with Jemima Khan. (BBC)
  
  
• "The Arctic Monkeys are currently on course to have a total of 18 songs in the top 200 when the next official UK charts are announced on Sunday." (BBC)
  
  
• Natasha Bedingfield talks about dating while in the public eye. (BBC)
  
  
• Today is Björk day in Guardian's Film and Music sections. She not only gives a characteristically eccentric interview with Laura Barton, but she adds her own slightly-askew takes on other Guardian stories. For example, Alexis Pertridis sits down with Alan Rankine of The Associates, who tells the story behind the band's lush, challenging 1982 album, Sulk. Björk chimes in at the end, adding, "For Medulla, I thought about using Billy MacKenzie's voice, and his father sent me old multitracks, the original tapes, and I wanted to work on it, celebrating voices, maybe do a duet with him. But when it came to it, I was too sacred." That would have been truly something.
  
  
• Discussing his "retirement," Patrick Wolf tells Pitchfork that he's not quitting music altogether and, surprisingly, compares himself to Britney Spears. "I guess because my first record painted some strange enigmatic picture of who I was, and I was kind of put into many boxes by the media, almost like there's a virgin that was on that album and a specific character that I don't relate to really." He's also joining Amy Winehouse on tour; he met her through their mutual friend, Kelly Osbourne.
  
  
• James Blunt joins Victoria Newton's "Shaggers League" after being seen with several stunning beauties. (The Sun)
  
  
• Just Jack's slags off George Michael's claim that marijuana is good for one's "creative process." (The Sun)
  
  
• Mick Jagger discovering that writing about his scandalous life isn't as interesting as actually living it. (The Sun)
  
  
• The Daily Mail imagines what female celebrities would look bald. I think Naomi Campbell most survives with her beauty in tact; Kirsten Dunst looks like she's angling to play Billy Corgan in a Smashing Pumpkins movie; and Cate Blanchett looks like she'd be a really hot FTM trannie. (No wonder she's playing Bob Dylan in that Todd Haynes movie.) I'd hit it.
  
  
• The Spamalot guys destroyed the Guinness record for coconut-playing, leading an orchestra of 5,567 people in Trafalgar Square. (Evening Standard)