I really didn't feel like discussing my love life – or lack of it - with Malachi, but he was being nice and sort of pushed me to, so I gave in. He thought I seemed lonely and wanted to know what sort of girl I go for. We started pointing out girls, when suddenly I saw her. She was a Goth Bettie Page sort, just my type…cute and edgy. She started heading in our direction, when she was killed by a car! Malachi casually got up from the table, started walking off, and told me to look her up. Oh my God, he set the whole thing up… Did I seem that desperate?! Leon planned a nice birthday dinner for Ella, but she was a touch under-enthused. What's the passing of one more year when you're doomed to be on Earth forever? He invited Malachi which probably wasn't a brilliant plan since Ella goes into sexual meltdown when devil man is about. While Ella got ready, we had a talk. Her head’s all over the place and who can blame her. Leon’s a nice guy but they have no future. He isn't like us… but then who is? Well, apart from the obvious. I told her she has to think of herself.

Taking my own advice, I set out to find my new dead girlfriend. Even frozen stiff in a morgue drawer she was adorable. Maya Robertson is her name. Then I saw her cowering in the corner hiding from me. I told her I wouldn't hurt her but she ran off.

I later found her on the street, looking at her mum who was utterly heartbroken. She was sort of pissy with me, but I told her I was only trying to help – then again if she wasn't so cute I don't think I'd try that hard. We sat and talked and she loosened up a bit. She rattled off a list of reasons why she was glad she wasn't alive anymore in an effort not to cry every 20 seconds. This was getting a bit annoying – I mean, you’re dead, it’s not the end of the world! Anyway, as luck would have it, she reckoned one of the good things about being dead was that she wouldn’t have to tell her mum she was a lesbian. Now that’s more like it!

Too bad things aren't going as smoothly for Leon and Ella. She's completely turned upside down by her raging lust for Malachi, and not carrying through with her heavenly duties. This prompted a visit from arch-angel Raphael and when you're getting visited by arch-angels sent by an angry God, that's really never a good thing. Malachi pushed it by taunting Leon about Ella. Leon punched him and got suspended from school. Nice one, Leon, let your rival push you out of the picture!

Malachi's bugging me and being a cocky bastard. He wants me to encourage Ella to go out with him, or he'll tell Maya why she died… I didn't ask him to kill her, but somehow I don't see that making her feel any better. I got back to the dorm and Ella was using some metallic vice on her leg to calm frustrations about Malachi…uh, there are items called vibrators for that predicament nowadays…silly cow. I sort of went against my judgment but I tried to convince her to go. Hey, I know what it’s like to be consumed by frustrated passion! I told her that if I had the opportunity to feel a connection with someone the way she does with Malachi, I'd go. She may not even like him. Then again, who wouldn't like someone who transported them to a smoky club in 1928 Berlin filled with beautiful people wearing gorgeous clothes?? I guess the absinthe started kicking in, she and Malachi went to the back room and she figured what happens in 1920s Berlin stays in 1920s Berlin. But their romantic interlude was shattered when she saw LEON of all people, bound, and ball-gagged in the same room! Our friendly Arch-angel sent him there to remind her of her duty. Preventing that encounter will only steep the lust she's feeling….Evil may just win out after all.