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Today, as we all know, is March 32nd. HAHA! April FOOL! You should see your face! Priceless!
No, but seriously it’s April 1st. All over the internet, trusted news providers have taken a moment to come up with a hoax story or two for April Fool’s Day.
Here’s a roundup of some of the best ones (or worst, depending on your tolerance for pranks and general hijinks).
• Dogs are to be welcomed on the rides at Thorpe Park.
• And on a similar note, here’s a thrilling addition to London’s Docklands Light Railway:
— DLR London (@DLRLondon) April 1, 2014
• The website for CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research who brought you the Large Hadron Collider, has announced that henceforth its principal font will be Comic Sans.
• Avril Poole (hem hem) reports for BT.com that Coronation Street is in danger of vanishing down a ten-foot sinkhole.
• Reddit have plans to expand your mind:
• Lego Minifigs have invaded the offices of the Girl Guides.
• In North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has launched plans for an X Factor-style talent show, in which he is the sole judge, and they aim to find a new group called Un Direction.
• The Mirror has the scoop on some newly-bred six-legged lambs, so that there’s more meat to go around.
• Google is recruiting:
— Google Maps (@googlemaps) April 1, 2014
• Metro claims that the British government is banning selfies.
• The Cornish Guardian says the European Union will force everyone in Cornwall to speak Cornish as their sole language (note: some pranks are more like fervent wishes).
• ITN reports that chickens in Suffolk are now laying square eggs:
— Nick Dixon (@NickDixon8) April 1, 2014
• A Devon farmer claims to have grown Guinness-flavored potato chips.
• The Guardian reports that Scotland—genuinely about to vote on independence from the rest of the U.K.—will adopt driving on the right hand side of the road if they become independent.
• And finally, a new species of aquatic mammal has been identified: the manaphin – part manatee, part dolphin. It even has its own website.
Now, let us never speak of these preposterous events again…
See more posts by Fraser McAlpine
Fraser has been writing and broadcasting about music and popular culture for over 15 years, first at the Top of the Pops website, and most recently for the NME, Guardian and MSN. He also wrote BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog and reviews albums for BBC Radio 2.
He is Anglophenia's current resident Brit, blogging about British slang and running around the Mall taking snaps of the crowd at the Royal Wedding, as well as reigniting a childhood passion for classic Doctor Who and cramming as much music in as he can manage.
Fraser invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic