A Must-Watch For ‘Hobbit’ Fans: ‘Who The ‘Ell Is Tauriel?’

'Who The 'Ell Is Tauriel' by the Esgaroth Three

‘Who The ‘Ell Is Tauriel’ by the Esgaroth Three

Critics of the world, I’m afraid to say that your jobs are under threat.

Frankly, it is one thing to respond to Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy with snark and glee, with pith and delight, with wisdom and wit, or even with the original Tolkein text propped up in front of you and a list of footnotes, but if you haven’t got the wherewithal to put your thoughts into song, you may find yourself struggling for an audience.

After all, no one ever finished a rousing critique of the various ways in which these films have deviated from their source material by wanting to go back and learn the chorus, and yet that’s exactly what’ll happen when you’re done with the drolly trollish “Who The ‘Ell Is Tauriel?’ by the Esgaroth Three.

It’s less a song, and more the sound of someone growling “Oi! JACKSON! You’re taking a DIABOLICAL LIBERTY!” like Jason Statham, while playing the ukulele and rocking an impressive center-parted mop.

Note: slighty ripe in the language department.

OK, let’s take it from the top, all together now!

See more:
10 Things to Look Forward to in 2014
Photos: Seven New Character Posters for ‘The Hobbit’ and Fan Event
Martin Freeman Says Bye-Bye To Bilbo
WATCH: Orlando Bloom Sings ‘They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard’ on the Set of ‘The Hobbit’

Fraser McAlpine

Fraser McAlpine

Fraser is a British writer, broadcaster and the the author of the book Stuff Brits Like. He is Anglophenia's resident Brit blogger, having written BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog, the Top of the Pops website, and for NME, the Guardian and elsewhere. Favorite topics include slang, Doctor Who and cramming as much music into Anglophenia as he can manage. He invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic
View all posts by Fraser McAlpine.