There follows a brief message from the Global Human Underground, in light of the total and complete invasion of Earth by unnamed intruders over the past few hours. You may have missed it, but it definitely did happen. Time is short, and you must be ready:
“Greetings from the Global Human Underground. Humanity needs you. If we are to survive and eventually overthrow our new alien overlords, we must recruit and train as many soldiers as we can. You must take this test, so that we can work out whether you will an effective and useful addition to the Underground or a hopeless klutz that falls on the ammo supply at the first sign of sustained aggression.
There is also a slight chance that you do not care enough about the cause of human freedom to even want to join the GHU, and if that is the case, we need to know this too. Frankly we’ve seen enough science fiction shows to know there’s always a warrior, always a victim, and always a bystander that can’t be relied upon in a crisis.
The question is, which one are you? Take this intensive and psychologically gruelling test to help us find out, and prepare for further contact, should it be necessary.
Humanity will prevail!
The Global Human Underground.”
Note: Not actually psychologically gruelling.