Funny British Road Signs

Driving in a foreign country is difficult enough — these road signs really don’t make it any easier.

Okay, this may not be “ha ha” funny but look how many signs there are! The overwhelming amount of signs is what caught our attention. How can you be expected to keep your eye on the road while driving and simultaneously read, absorb, interpret and decide what to do? Most likely people just ignore the signs? It’s probably not so funny when you are behind the wheel trying to maneuver your way through London!

Have you ever had the pleasure of driving in a roundabout? I have … and it can be terrifying. Possibly the best way to illustrate the feeling is it being similar to trying to jump onto a moving playground merry-go-round (just to be clear, not a carousel) that is spinning and you have to find the right moment. Entering the roundabout isn’t so difficult but depending on your exit you may have to switch lanes and if no one is willing to let you merge you may end up going around a few times. Apparently this one is magical and possibly it will be easier to get in and out!


Yup, this pretty much sums up how the roundabout works.


First things first, this is not where the white-and-black striped animals walk across the street. In the UK a “Zebra Crossing” is actually a cross walk. It is indeed white and black stripes. It took a little bit of thinking as to what a “Humped Zebra Crossing” is … but, we’re thinking that it is a cross walk with a speed bump? With that said, if someone was driving in the UK and saw this and didn’t have their Anglophenia handbook in their back pocket they might be hoping to spot a wild zebra in Britain?! They’d be waiting a while.


Really? Is this real? Well, we’re guessing there is a bar about five feet from this sign. And, yeah, it’s not a bad idea to warn drivers that someone may spill into the street after a few too many pints. But, really … does the person crawling with a bottle do drunkards justice? And, the drawing of the person doesn’t have hands. How could he hold the bottle!


To be honest, when I’m driving I cannot look at billboards (also called a hoarding in the UK). Not to scare anyone but I have a bad habit of my hands following my eyes. So, if I look up and to the right, ultimately the car will go to the right. So, problem solved … I don’t read billboards when driving. Can you imagine coming across this one? It’s definitely a distraction. It’s upside down! I don’t want to spoil it for you — can you read it? Hopefully it’s not true!


Oh my. This is a bit of a downer but definitely a good example for the person in charge of hanging the signs to be aware of placement. It’s not just that there’s a “Beware of Elderly” sign next to a cemetery sign but it’s actually pointing in a direction as if advising people where to go to (please don’t make us say it) …”buy the farm”; “cash in one’s chips”; “push up daisies.” You get the gist, right? We’ll make sure to add that suggestion to the comment box at the next sign hanging meeting!


So, my English friend, who is a female, uses the term “twathead” in passing. You know how you hang out with someone and you pick up their lingo? Well, I used the term forgetting the meaning? Yeah, no, that term does not go over well and I’ve removed it from my vocab. Maybe whoever named this town, ultimately landing on this sign, forgot as well? Oh man, can you imagine growing up there and for the rest of your life having to answer, “Where are you from?” The person behind the newspaper seems to know its meaning.

Actually, not to be a know-it-all, but it is in use. The sign is there and it says something on it. Yup, that is indeed how a sign works. We have a sneaky feeling that this is a way of saying, “This sign is not being used to advertise anything at the moment and the space is available for rent.” But, it’s not quite 100 percent clear straight away when reading it.


Aw, thanks! Right back at you. That’s a nice note to end on.

In the mood for some more funny signs? Check out this Anglo post on Great British Scolding Signs.

Have you seen any funny signs during your travels?