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I’m not sure, given that this is a story about a prank job advert, whether I want it to be true or not. I mean, it’s definitely not true, this is an advert for a job that absolutely only really exists in the Bond movies. It’s really not real, even though it did appear on the DirectGov website, which is the place an advert for a James Bond would definitely be placed, should such a thing exist, which it doesn’t.
Nevertheless, this is the text of a recent joke advert placed on that very site (as reported in Digital Spy), under the telling reference code 007:
“From time to time, the UK government has a need to remove people whose continued existence poses a risk to the effective conduct of public order.
“So we require particularly skilled professionals who are prepared to work on a non-attributable basis to deal with these problems.
“The role will involve international travel to a number of countries where individuals need to be removed.”
“The job holder will receive all necessary equipment, including passports, special watches, jet packs, mini-submarines and a Walther PPK.”
The advert, which has since been taken down, concluded: “This role is particularly appropriate for those who like their martinis shaken and not stirred.”
Ah yes but:
Note: this is the kind of thing you’d be expected to do, if such a job could be said to exist (it doesn’t).
See more posts by Fraser McAlpine
Fraser has been writing and broadcasting about music and popular culture for over 15 years, first at the Top of the Pops website, and most recently for the NME, Guardian and MSN. He also wrote BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog and reviews albums for BBC Radio 2.
He is Anglophenia's current resident Brit, blogging about British slang and running around the Mall taking snaps of the crowd at the Royal Wedding, as well as reigniting a childhood passion for classic Doctor Who and cramming as much music in as he can manage.
Fraser invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic