Five Great ‘Fake ‘Downton Abbey’ Episode’ Summaries

‘Lady Mary is inconsolable’

As we wait patiently for new Downton Abbey, we’ll quite simply have to make do with these phony, rather hilarious episode synopses from the @FakeDowntonEps Twitter account. Their tweets have caused no shortage of belly laughs in the Anglophenia offices today. Here are just a few of their greatest hits, which aren’t for the faint of heart. So cradle your nosegay and enjoy:

Matthew Dutch ovens Mary.Mary is inconsolable. Lord Grantham writes a strongly worded letter.

— FakeDowntonEpisodes (@FakeDowntonEps) October 7, 2012

Sybil finds herself in the uncomfortable position of having to explain to Violet what ‘scissoring’ is.

— FakeDowntonEpisodes (@FakeDowntonEps) October 5, 2012

Lady Grantham utilizes Russian roulette to decide which servant will no longer be working at Downton.

— FakeDowntonEpisodes (@FakeDowntonEps) October 3, 2012

Carson expresses disapproval over the servants’ new zebra print tuxedos. Molesley accidentally crashes the stock market.

— FakeDowntonEpisodes (@FakeDowntonEps) October 4, 2012

Matthew cries out Lavinia’s name during coitus.Mary is inconsolable.O’Brien beats Thomas with a lead pipe.

— FakeDowntonEpisodes (@FakeDowntonEps) October 3, 2012

Which fake Downton ep would you most like to see? Tell us below: