Dating a British Man: The Gift of Gab

Sally Hawkins in ‘Happy-Go-Lucky’ was quite the chatty Kathy. A bit much for the lads.

Dating a British Man is a ten-part series that will take you through the dating ups and downs, it can be considered a guide as what to do — or, what not to do — depending on how you look at it. Here are some tidbits based on my experiences dating British men from England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Not all at the same time! In case you missed it, Part 1: Brits in America.

The gift of gab

American girls like to talk. Yathink? I’ve been told by British men, “I like that you talk, you’re not stuck up, British girls don’t talk.” Well, of course, British girls talk. But, I’ve heard from British girls themselves, they’re not that interested in going up to and talking to British men. It’s a classic case of CBA, they just “can’t be arsed.” Entering a British pub in the U.K. feels almost like going to an eighth grade mixer where it’s boys on one side and girls on the other. Point being, English men aren’t used to being chatted up at home. It’s a lot more work for them.

What to expect

No matter how you paint it, American girls are definitely chattier than their buttoned-up counterparts in the U.K. The thing is, no matter how much he likes your stories in the beginning he will need a break after awhile. Unfortunately, you may not know when that breaking point is. He’ll probably be super-polite and never say anything and let it build up and boil over at the most inopportune time. Even the most even keeled, polite, gentle Brit has a temper. “But… but I thought you liked my stories?” My blunt Brummie boytoy told me it’s statistically proven that women talk more than men. I checked. It’s a myth! And, actually (insert smirk) the opposite according to multiple studies.

What not to do

There’s no need to walk on egg shells, but at the same time don’t tell him every brilliant story swirling around in your head. Even if your British boy praises you for your skilled storytelling and outgoing American ways, know when to edit it down. Even if you don’t think you’re talking a lot, you are. On the other hand, you’re not his entertainment. He needs to bring something to the table. He can’t just rest on his accent.

How do I know this? I’m the American Bridget Jones. She worked in book publishing and transitioned into television. As did I. She is neurotic and unlucky in love. As am I. She had a happy ending. As will I.