Dating a British Man: Commitment

Just yous twos. (Photo via Lovers Need Lawyers)

Dating a British Man is a ten-part series that will take you through the dating ups and downs, it can be considered a guide as what to do — or, what not to do — depending on how you look at it. Here are some tidbits based on my experiences dating British men from England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Not all at the same time!

Commitment

That first date might segue into a full-fledged relationship making the second and third date obsolete. British men sometimes jump into relationships as they “Just can’t be bothered” to sort through the masses. It’s like, “You’ll do.” Possibly I’m being a bit of a cynic? Well, birds of a feather flock together. I think I’m attracted to the cynicism of Brits. On the same note, British men tend to move their girlfriends into their apartments fairly early on. Sometimes it’s love, sometime it’s financial (someone to pay half the rent and not a smelly roommate) and, unfortunately, sometimes it’s mere convenience. He knows his bird is home nesting while he’s out on the town with his mates.

What to expect

Last Thanksgiving I started dating a 30-year-old soccer coach from Birmingham, England. Trust me, it was not like at first sight. He struck me as a rascal. He thought I gave him a dirty look. Which, I did. I thought he was a rascal! It turned out he wasn’t. We ended up talking and I realized he was thoughtful and sweet. Of course, a bit of edginess never hurts.

We hung out a few more times with a group of mutual pals and ended up making plans to meet up, just the two of us. Midway through our first proper date he turned to me and said, “I like you, I think we should date, just you and me.” I like a man who says what he thinks. It made sense to me.

I shrugged my shoulders agreeing and simply said, “Okay.”

He threw his hands up in the air declaring, “That’s all you have to say?”

Insert awkward laugh here. Oops. I backtracked and elaborated, “I like you too. I’ve been out with you the past few nights, I’m out with you now and wouldn’t go out with someone else tomorrow. But, I guess you don’t know that. I’m glad you said it out loud but I didn’t plan on seeing anyone else.”

He looked both ways to make sure the coast was clear. Remember, I mentioned Brits don’t like PDA. He planted a cheeky kiss to seal the deal. Aw.

What not to do

It’s nice to take the guesswork out of, “Are we exclusive? Am I his bird?” and know you’re on the same page. The thing is, if you jump into relationship-mode straight away you skip some of the fun getting to know each other stuff and find yourself in, “It’s Saturday night, let’s order Chinese and watch re-runs of Ricky Gervais’s The Office.” Brits have lots of stories, they’re from another country, even the crap stories are good – don’t let those slip away!

How do I know this? I’m the American Bridget Jones. She worked in book publishing and transitioned into television. As did I. She is neurotic and unlucky in love. As am I. She had a happy ending. As will I.

Next: Sleeping Habits