It should all have been so simple. Boris Johnson, mayor of London, should be able to whizz across London’s Victoria Park as part of the London Games celebrations, on a 1,050ft zip wire, without anything untoward happening. He should be able to do this, while wearing a hard hat and waving two plastic Union flags, without becoming any more of a laughing stock than is appropriate for a grown man in a suit on a zip wire, wearing a hard hat and waving toy flags.
Sadly this is not what happened, as you will see from this video:
65ft from the end, his momentum stalled, and he was left hanging in mid-air for a full five minutes, while onlookers shouted encouraging things and laughed. Oh, the humiliation!
Putting a brave face on things, Boris yelled “it’s very, very well organised. It’s going well so far.”
And somewhere, far away, Mitt Romney smiled (probably).