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Ricky Gervais
To coincide with our “Where Are They Now?” homage to the cast of the British Office, which marks its 10th anniversary this weekend, we’d like to tip our hats to the one and only Ricky Gervais.
Most of us will agree that the 50-year-old British funnyman has made this world a better place with his countless one-liners and other acerbic remarks on life, fame, and whatever else he chooses to focus his withering gaze upon. And gathering every single entertaining thing he’s ever said, both on and off screen, would certainly amass a list that stretches for miles. So yes, we’d like to share some our of personal favorites. Here we go.
• “I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably entertainer third.” – as David Brent on season 1, episode 3 of the British Office
• “Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty… satisfaction. That’s what I’m…you know. Trust people and they’ll be true to you. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great.” – as David Brent on season 2, episode 2 of the British Office
• “I’m not from these parts. I’m from a little place called England – we used to run the world before you lot.” – 2004 Golden Globes
• “Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.” – The Daily Mail, 2008
• “I have plenty of pet hates. I can’t stand people scraping their plate or slurping their soup. I can’t stand waiting in lines. I hate people talking inanely about the Lord of the Rings. I hate people whistling. But I’m not like this because I’m famous. I’ve always been a grumpy bastard.” – The Daily Mail, 2008
• “Oh, these actors who ask, “What’s my motivation?” all the time. Who cares? I’ll tell you what your motivation is: it’s the only thing you can do, and you’re getting paid to do it, so shut the hell up!” – via IMDB
• “It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.” – 2011 Golden Globes
• “Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.” – 2010 Golden Globes
• “The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth.” – Inside the Actors Studio, 2009
• “I’ve never regretted turning money down. I don’t do anything for the money. It bores me.” – GQ, April 2006
• “I can have a go at the French cause I’m half French half English with a stupid name like Gervais. No I am, I’m half French half English and um I’ve got qualities of both, French and English which is good, so um… I am crap in bed but at least I’ve got bad breath.” – From Animals
• “I say tour, L.A. and New York, they’re the main two. I didn’t do the middle bit, um. Nothing wrong with the middle bit, if you’re watching the DVD. I love the middle bit, I love the middle bit. I love all of America.” – From Out of England
• [Whenever I hear] “someone in TV or a comedian called a ‘genius,’ I think, Medicine lost another one. You mustn’t put even someone as great as Larry David alongside Newton. – Esquire, January 2011
• “You have options. You can either continue to be miserable or you can just stop being angry at everyone and accept the way things are. Allow yourself to live.” – Ghost Town, 2008
• “Be careful with the language. Screw, damn, and bloody do not a sermon make.” – Xfm, January, 19, 2002
Ok, what’d we miss? Tell us here.
6 Comments
Possibly the funniest guy alive today, obviously being a 6’5 non-goggle eyed, un-orange headed freak I may seem slightly biased…….. Actually I think the entire RSK crew are responsible for the top 5 defining moments in British comedy of the last 10 years, I doff my cap to you.
Just incase you were bored the top 5….
1. Gareth Keenan invetigates
2. ‘Because you’re a Hobbit?’
3. Telling Finchy to fuck off
4. Having a conversation with Roert De Niro about a nudey pen
5. Buying your wife a trowel for your wedding anniversary…..Ron has given us all hope
Why is it that when you read a post post posting that you see the mitakes?
One of my favotites was during one of the talking heads.Brent says something to the effect that people always say to him that he’s not fooling them by wearing a suit.They KNOW he’s “rock-n-roll through and through”.Makes me laugh every time.I think because Brent actually believes it.And the pitiful fact being,there no one less rock-n-roll than David Brent.
hahaha, because you’re a hobbit is a great one!
the rant in the big brother house always gets to me.
Frey Bentos
Dear Mr. Gervais:
I was thoroughly entertained by your “performance” on the thirty (not very important) years of the Golden Globes presentation. The fact that they keep hiring you on to host this ceremony says more about the producers’ preference when role playing with their significants than anything else I can fathom. Ratings? Does NBC even consider ratings or have they adapted a very French “c’ est la vie” mentality. We love the French here in America. If you watched, maybe, ten minutes of hockey, you would realize that. More than ten minutes, and you’ll turn into an idiot…or Canadian. What’s the difference? They seem happy. They are well medicated and they get to keep all of their limbs, regardless of their finances. That’s crazy.
By the way ice way to make fun of Spanish-speaking people (at least Antonio Banderas) last night. That might actually endear you to the American public. I’m sorry, it just took me awhile to get the joke over your drunken Brittish vernacular.
But that’s nice. That’s what makes people different…assholes, but different. That’s how I know you’re not from Mexico. No, I know you’re not from Mexico. You’re like the hot headed little Irish chef, always ready to punch his helpers in the mouth. — You know, the one who keeps hiring Paula Abdul to make himself look feminine? I’m glad we cleared that up, because I hate making generalizations.
No seriously, good job. I really would love to have been there last evening, but unfortunately I am neither a celebrity nor a celebrity whore, I mean, escort. No, I mean, I wish I could have been ridiculed by you, and it would have been both an honor…and truly easy. I am fat, much fatter than you. Probably, I am even fatter than you were at your most self-loathing moment, in terms of being fat. That in itself would have given you so much cheap fodder to fill in time and tickle your drunken uvula (it does sound womanly, doesn’t it?). You might have “wanted’ to joke about my small penis, but you couldn’t now could you, no. I know. I believe we both share this curse from when the Church of England felt it would “go its own”. The Pope said, “Go then, and use condoms, but they will be the size of a small church mouse.” The Popey man has serious pull in the world. You remember when he told Africans with Aids to spread their seed and disease. And they said, “Are you sure”. And he said unto them, “Go ahead, it’s all good.” And then they listened, and amidst this new little problem, you have to wonder, how he sits back, and says, “Now, maybe, it’s o.k., sometimes.” Now maybe it’s o.k.? If Jesus Christ talked to people like this, they wouldn’t take this shit. Why do they take it from the Pope? Is it because his fashion is timeless?
So, I know if the Pope were there you would have had more fun than you would have with me, but if you knew that I were not an actor, I was one of those “common people” you can’t stand standing next to in line… You might have had to get off the podium and confront me. Of course this is all in my deluded mind, but so much of reality is based on a set of agreed upon delusions…the government, the economy, the “arts”, and without a doubt…the foreign “press”. How we decide the best of anything is such an interesting game of snobbery and the populous negotiating over what corporations are willing to sell them. “I think you would like a film about limiting corporations” brought to you by a corporate entity, and make sure to find out who made the most this weekend…Guess what, it wasn’t you”. I am referring to myself who doesn’t make money, but is a “stay at home” father. I mean, I stay at home, and I put this on my applications, because I truly believe I could have a son out there, from all of the prostitutes I have slept with over the years. Mr. Gervais, you are a national treasure, and like so many things these days, of course, you are not ours.
Cheers,
A. Edwards