The Wit And Wisdom Of Ozzy Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne

It should come as no surprise to anyone that Ozzy Osbourne is a more refined and sensitive person than his rock wildman persona would suggest. He’s managed to keep an extremely volatile marriage going for over 30 years, during which time a preposterous amount of strange (and sometimes frightening) things have happened. That takes a lot of hard work and a lot of compromise.

So when he offers his thoughts on health matters, relationship advice or the finessing of love in all of its myriad forms, as he has been in the Sunday Times for the past year, we should all sit up and listen. If nothing else, it’s going to be good for a laugh, right?

Here’s an example. We’re all aware of Mick Jagger’s legendary reputation as a sexual adventurer and all-round crumpeteer, but do you know what the source of his great power is? Ozzy does.

He said: “Mick Jagger doesn’t have great hair because he’s a hero in the sack, he’s a hero in the sack because he’s got great hair. Or so I’m told anyway.”

“I’ve been blessed with very good hair genes, but I can’t say it ever did me a lot of good in the Romeo department, most girls take one look at me, scream, then run away.”

And if you’re thinking of finishing a relationship, do be careful how you do it. Modern technology can be a boon in many ways, but it does not solve every problem:

“A tweet isn’t a very considerate way to break someone’s heart. In these kind of situations, the old-fashioned way is usually the best: send them a fax.”

Something for us all to think about there.

What would you ask Ozzy? Tell us here.

Fraser McAlpine

Fraser McAlpine

Fraser is a British writer, broadcaster and the the author of the book Stuff Brits Like. He is Anglophenia's resident Brit blogger, having written BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog, the Top of the Pops website, and for NME, the Guardian and elsewhere. Favorite topics include slang, Doctor Who and cramming as much music into Anglophenia as he can manage. He invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic
View all posts by Fraser McAlpine.