So Who Is Going To Win Britain’s Got Talent 2011?

I know you all want this, I can see it in your eyes. Don’t pretend to be above it. OK, granted, in a very real sense we are ALL above Britain’s Got Talent, but that should not detract from this little rundown of the eight finalists who will do battle this Saturday night.

This motley crew will be doing all sorts of weird stuff to try and entertain Simon Cowell and co, so the least we can do is watch, absorb, and then, y’know, get on with our lives.

Contestant 1: Paul Gbegbaje

What does he do? He plays the piano, like a WIZARD.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 2: Ronan Parke

What does he do? He sings. There’s been a bit of controversy around 12-year-old Ronan, in that some web sources are claiming that he’s been signed to the books at Syco for over two years already, effectively making this year’s final a fix. Simon Cowell has taken a dim view of this, and called in Scotland Yard to investigate the people making the claims. None of which should distract you from Ronan’s ability in the field of popular song, of course.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 3: Jean Martyn

What does she do? She plays organ, with her hands and feet (on the pedals obviously, she’s not Jerry Lee Lewis). Startlingly well.

Can I see her performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 4: New Bounce

What do they do? They’re a boyband, they’re new and they do bounce.

Can I see them performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 5: James Hobley

What does he do? He’s a dancer who has had to overcome both mobility problems and autism in order to dance. He’s going to cause some sobbing on Saturday whatever happens.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 6: Les Gibson

What does he do? Impressions! His version of Dec from out of Ant and Dec was considered good enough to replace the original.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 7: Jai McDowell

What does he do? He’s a singer. And former care worker.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

Contestant 8: Steven Hall

What does he do? He’s a dancer (it says on the website). You’ll need to watch this to see if you agree.

Can I see him performing? Yep, right here.

So there we have it. Who would you like to win? Tell us here.