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So far in this series, we have examined 10 great American institutions, and the effect a British influence has had over each one, for better or worse.
Now it’s payback time. Here are five things which were originally very good, and then became very bad (from the British perspective) once re-interpreted by the Land of the Free.
1: Spelling
So, the founding fathers made their trip over to the new world during a period where spelling was not uniform. Even the spelling of your own name could vary wildly, depending on how you were feeling at the time. Since then, there has been an attempt to nail down the English language, and to enforce the rules a bit more stringently. Unfortunately, the people doing the nailing on each side of the Atlantic had different ideas over certain words, and one letter in particular. The humble Z is a far less well used letter in British English than it is in America, so much so that it even has a different name – Zed. To British eyes, putting a Z where an S normally goes, or lopping the U out of colour or honour, just looks brash and vulgar. That we would notice this, and make that judgement, has done nothing to alter each nation’s fundamental perception of the other.
PS: We’re entirely wrong about aluminium, however.
2: Rock Bands
How often is the sad tale told of a UK band who has been doing astonishingly well in their home country, and in Europe, and across Asia, even as far as Australia, only to fall apart when asked to try and ‘crack’ America? Too often, that’s how. From Slade to (The London) Suede, the common experience seems to be that they come over, ready to work, ready to blow some minds, they go off on tour for nine months, playing to 150 confused Anglophiles every night, during which time they’ve only covered a third of Texas, then they all go bonkers and pack up and go home. Meanwhile, everyone in the UK has gone off them and their career is effectively over. What are you DOING to these people, America?
A bar of Dairy Milk
3: Candy Bars
Over in the UK, candy bars are called chocolate bars, and you know why? It’s because they all, even the rubbish ones, taste of chocolate. You might want to give that a try. Once you’ve experienced the full glory of a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, the temptation to scrape your teeth over a dusty old Hershey’s diminishes. A lot. Also, we don’t feel the need to put peanuts into every variety either, because when the chocolate tastes nice, there’s no need to overwhelm the flavour with other ingredients.
Note: This does not apply to either the sterling work done by Reese’s on fusing peanut butter and chocolate, or the mighty peanut M&M.
4: Adaptations
An umbrella heading which covers classic British novels which have been made into bad movies, classic British comics which have been made into bad movies (a sub-genre of hell which includes Tank Girl, Judge Dredd, and a LOT of Alan Moore’s best work), and classic British sit-coms that have been made into bad American sit-coms. Leaving The Office aside for a second, did you ever see the American version of The IT Crowd? No. Or the American remake of The Vicar of Dibley, starring Kirstie Alley? No. And there’s a reason for that.
Note: Orange put together a brilliant list of British sitcoms that attempted to cross over the pond, with varying degrees of success. It’s a cautionary tale.
5: Joss Stone
The flip side of the Rock Bands thing is when a British person of tender years experiences sudden and enormous success in the US. It fundamentally changes their personality DNA, or something. So Joss Stone, who was a precocious 16 year old from Devon when she left these shores, came back talking with an American accent, flopping about like one of the cast of Superfly, and generally acting as though Britain was a cultural backwater that she could not wait to leave. Naturally, we did not take kindly to this. And after her speech at the 2007 Brit Awards, which still defies rational explanation (I repeat, she’s from DEVON, people from Devon don’t wish Big Love to ANYONE), well we basically washed our hands of her. She’s like the baby bird that was touched by humans, and now the mother won’t feed it any more. Sad, but true.
See also: Five Great British Things The Americans Improved
Have you more examples? Tell us here.
117 Comments
Z is a letter in the alphabet. Zed is not. It’s three letters from the alphabet.
I’m sorry, shouldn’t Top Gear be on this list? I think the US version was a (valiant?) attempt, but was too unsure of itself to be taken seriously.
personally I would love to see a us adaptation of Absolutely Fabulous – but it needs to be done RIGHT and well-casted. Also, they need Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, and Julia Swalha to sign on as executive producers much like what the creator of the Office did.
But as far as music goes, I think the british are rather superior with their music. They gave us artists like the Beatles, Florence + the Machine, Genesis, Kate Bush, and plenty more. I would love to see Kate or Florence live one day.
“TEETH”
response to byron,as you so wrongly stated that zed is three letters it i s not, it is how the letter is spoken.how would you spell the letter W?
Why is the US trying to copy British programming? I love British programming just the way it is. I personally think when we copy it we destroy it. It doesn’t work with American accents. We Americans should leave it alone and enjoy it in its original form.
“The Best of British Television” by dumbing it down to endless back-to-back marathons of Gordon Ramsay and Top Gear.
WITHOUT A DOUBT, THE BLOKES HAVE MUCH BETTER CANDY THAN THE USA…….GO THERE AND TASTE…….
Waaa-Frigin’ Waaa! Ya Wankas! Just cause a bunch of Pilgrims, kicked your arses, don’t be cryin’ in your slop! If you don’t like it, don’t listen, eat, or consume in any way or shape. Don’t cry because your system doesn’t allow you to go from Poverty to Riches with your own muscle and mind, doesn’t mean that we “ruined it” for you. Hears some used TP to wipe those snoodles from your nose, ya Poppycock!
I can’t find the Orange sitcom listing. Kirstie Alley won’t work as the Vicar of Dibley. She’s not nearly as pretty as the original. And WHO is Joss Stone? She must be one of those people who is only famous in New York City and Los Angeles. And, contrary to what you see in the movies, MOST of us don’t live in those two cities.
I feel disloyal to the home team for agreeing on this point, but, yes, a Hesrshey bar can’t hold a candle to a Cadbury Dairy Milk. I may just have to stop at the corner market on the way home and prove this out one more time. So creamy and rich with a smokey afterglow…Well done Brits.
I have to say after watching BBC ‘s Being Human and then starting what I thought was a continuation of same series, I think the Canadian/US version sucks. Not entirely, but why remake a perfectly good series and try to fool people into thinking it would be as good. I love many of the British TV shows. Don’t think I would like them remade for American TV.
I know from IMDB that Ashes to Ashes ran for 3 seasons. We only saw 2 seasons over here across the pond. The show is not even mentioned on this website anymore.
in the words of Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) “Zed is dead”
CAREFUL Cadbury chocolate is NO LONGER Cadbury in the US! ! ! Its made UNDER LICENSE by hersheys! So turn that bar over and unless it says Made in England throw it in the trash!
You have to import some of the best candy bars in the world, Coffee Crisp from Canada. Plenty of great chocalatiers in the world, just none in the US, starting with hersey.
This has even caught up to those hideous eggs which once were only made in England as that was the only place the contraption that makes them was located. I don’t care for them myself, but I look at them and every Cadbury product to see where its made, and this year I found them to be made under that dreaded licensing agreement. People know when they bring me Cadbury products it better say made in England! I’ve thrown the crap licensed stuff away in front of them! Pity you have to bring it in from Commonwealth countries.
Spelling, well your wrong on the spelling, that is the end of it. Oh and what is the UK issue with “the” as in “went to the hospital…etc.. it is not “went to hospital…”
Lots of things I like from the UK, Scotch, Marks & Spencers (please return to Canada or even open US stores that are just like the UK stores! !, I lived in Canada when they still had them, and thankfully M&S will send orders to the US!).
As for TV shows, I am all for more of the ORIGINAL shows. I fell in love with Lovejoy, MI5, and would love to have more of the ORIGINAL UNCENSORED and UNCHANGED UK versions. So BBCA get on it and get the original regular UK shows on! Yes I am aware of the UK law about shows funded with the “tele license.” SOLVE IT! Although you can skip crap gear… don’t care for it. And as for the office, maybe the UK version is much better, but the US one is just stupid to start.
Oh..and last nit… HK! Total and epic failure! Treaty or not, the commies in china should have been told off! And you kept HK, same for Portugal and Macau.. NO “special” district, zone doesn’t cut it. The US has the same issue with some Pacific islands and Panama too. Oh and the UK can start in Egypt and India too!
RESTORATION OF EMPIRE!
Why American remakes of British TV shows don’t always work; as less to do with differences between the two audiences and more to do with the arrogance of the network executive. They look around for a new show and enlight upon something going down well in the UK. They view recording of said show, agree it’s good, like the concept, think yes they can make something of this. But then think the average American is not as intellegent them, Americans won’t understand it like they do, it’ll have to be rewriten and remoulded, restructured and relocated and in the process have it’s hart and sole ripped out till no one likes it anymore. Then they’re surprised it doesn’t do as well as they’d thought. This reinforces their low opinion of the American audiences ability to appreciate something that’s not 100% American.
Time and again American audiences, when given the opportunity, do show they can appreciate shows from all over the world and American production units can work in partnership with foreign units; look at some of the sterling international work of companys like HBO and the BBC but still the executive bosses under estimate the American audience.
Wow, rock bands originated in the US so suck it up.
Spelling, well…suck it up, too.
Always called them Chocolate bars, so maybe the US is a big country and it depends on where you live.
Can’t fault you on Adaptations although you can’t set anything aside and the US version of the Office is miles better than UK version.
Who is Joss Stone?