No Sex Please, We’re Coldplay Fans

Coldplay

*Rubs hands together* Oh here we go! There is nothing more fun that a survey which takes two pieces of unrelated information about people, runs them through a number-crunching logarithm and extrapolates a fun theory from the results.

Actually, there are probably LOTS of things which are more fun than that, but bear with us a second. It seems that Last.fm’s affiliated dating website Tastebuds has been conducting a sex survey, asking one question “how far would you go on a first date?”

a. I’d only meet up for a chat. b. Perhaps a kiss c. All the way, if there was chemistry.

The idea being they then cross reference your answers with your favorite artists, in order to find out whether rap fans are sexier than prog rockers, or whether you get a better first kiss off a punk than a metaller.

Admit it, you want to know what they found out, don’t you?

Well, first of all you need to know that they only asked 400 people. And that the results are ordered according to artist, not genre. Nevertheless, broad themes do emerge.

For example, Coldplay fans are the least likely to put out on a first date, being very chaste and sensitive people. At the other end of the scale, Nirvana fans are astonishingly rampant. Must be all that nihilism, really spices things up.

Adele fans like to take it slow, but Gorillaz fans are animals. Radiohead and Muse? No. Eminem and Kanye West? Very much yes. Blur and Oasis? Well, Blur are sexier, but we could’ve told you that before the survey results came in.

Oddly enough, fans of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry are NOT exhibitionists and they DON’T kiss a girl just to try it; cherry chapstick or no cherry chapstick.

But if you meet someone who’s into Metallica or Linkin Park, well…make sure you take some breath mints, and that you’ve had a wash.

Good luck!

Science or hooey (or clever PR campaign)? Tell us here.

Fraser McAlpine

Fraser has been writing and broadcasting about music and popular culture for over 15 years, first at the Top of the Pops website, and most recently for the NME, Guardian and MSN. He also wrote BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog and reviews albums for BBC Radio 2.

He is Anglophenia's current resident Brit, blogging about British slang and running around the Mall taking snaps of the crowd at the Royal Wedding, as well as reigniting a childhood passion for classic Doctor Who and cramming as much music in as he can manage.

Fraser invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic

See more posts by Fraser McAlpine