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First of all, an apology: we had no intention of running another X Factor judges story so soon after yesterday’s astonishing revelations. But this is rather good, so bear with us.
The Story So Far: lots of famous people are reportedly being considered as potential judges on the US X Factor. Lots of other famous people are reportedly being considered as judges on the UK X Factor. And one of those people is Lily Allen, whose position in the show was described yesterday as being 80% confirmed.
This, apparently, is news to Lily herself, who posted the following barbed riposte on her Twitter feed: “Nice to know that I’m 80% confirmed to be a judge on X Factor, anyone thinking about running it by me? Maybe that’s the 20% bit… ”
She then said: “I’ll only do it if there’s a pop songs in a foreign language week,” and put up a link to Stevie Wonder singing “My Cherie Amour” in Italian.
This then lead Piers Morgan — a man who is not above making waspish comments on Twitter in much the same way that the sea is not above the sky — to retort: “Did Bianca Gascoigne turn it down then?”
NOTE: Bianca Gascoigne is the former wife of soccer star Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne, and slightly famous in her own right. Not a major showbiz player, you see, that’s the gag.
Lily’s response was equally cutting: “Don’t be a snob Piers, it doesn’t suit you, oh wait a minute… carry on!”
Which provoked Piers to say this: “‘Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.’ – Peter Ustinov”
And then this: “If you need some tips on how to be a talent judge, you know where to find me. (Answer: Hollywood).”
Clearly, Lily had had enough by now: “YOU ARE SUCH A D**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Which is basically a win for Mr Morgan. And a lose for the X Factor.
Are you Team Lily or Team Morgan? Tell us here.
Fraser has been writing and broadcasting about music and popular culture for over 15 years, first at the Top of the Pops website, and most recently for the NME, Guardian and MSN. He also wrote BBC Radio 1's Chart Blog and reviews albums for BBC Radio 2.
He is Anglophenia's current resident Brit, blogging about British slang and running around the Mall taking snaps of the crowd at the Royal Wedding, as well as reigniting a childhood passion for classic Doctor Who and cramming as much music in as he can manage.
Fraser invites you to join him on Twitter: @csi_popmusic