Shocker: Oliver Twist Is Michael Jackson’s Baby Daddy?

Former child star Mark Lester, who appeared in the title role in 1968′s Oscar-winning Oliver, tells News of the World that he’s the biological father of the late Michael Jackson‘s daughter, Paris.

(Great choice, speaking to NOTW, Mark. Striving for credibility, I see.)

“It’s been a secret for so long,” the British actor told the paper. “In 1996 Michael asked me if I would give him my sperm and I said yes. It was a gift to him, no money was paid, it was something I was honored to do. He wanted children so badly.”

Lester adds, “Michael found it very difficult to have relationships with women. He found the sexual act something he couldn’t do. When he was about 16 or 17 he had a very famous female child star who basically jumped on him, naked in his hotel room, and tried to seduce him.”

I’m more interested in finding out who the “very famous child star” is than I am in the veracity of this story. Let’s see: Jackson was 16 or 17 in 1974 or 1975. Could it have been one of the Brady girls?

Anyway, have a look at this clip from Oliver! and see if you can spot anyone that looks like he could have sired Michael Jackson’s baby. Speeeerm! Glorious speeeeerm!

In other news:

• Paula Abdul: off American Idol, on to Dancing With the Stars? (The Sun)
• Dancing with the Stars professional Mark Ballas says “No” to Ms. Abdul as a judge. And why do I think Carrie Ann Inaba wouldn’t be so pleased either?(E!)
  
  
• Did Louis Walsh almost succeed where Sharon Osbourne failed – nearly getting Dannii Minogue to quit X Factor?(The Sun)
• As an Idol judge, Victoria Beckham “tried to hard to be ‘nice,’ but came off as icy and wooden.” (Radar Online)
• A No. 1 hit is the best revenge: will Peter Andre, recently split from inflatable wife Jordan, top the UK singles chart next week?(Mirror)
• Dizzee Rascal to Prince Harry: “If you weren’t royalty I’d have punched you in the face by now.”(Telegraph)
• Watch footage of The Stone Roses in the studio recording their classic “Fools Gold” back in ’89.(Guardian)
• When does massage stop being “massage” and start being “systematic torture”?(Telegraph)
• Lily Allen knows when to hold ‘em, knows when to fold ‘em.(The Sun)
• 1 in 6 Britons: too lazy to get off their sodding arses.(Telegraph)