Jane Seymour: I’m Not Dr. Quinn, Party Girl

Jane Seymour hits back at the Bath, England townspeople who are petitioning to have her declared a public nuisance. As The Daily Telegraph reports, the trouble started when Seymour received a 24-hour liquor license for her 14th-century mansion – she and her husband wanted to rent it out for functions – and neighbors started complaining about delivery vans clogging the roads. Yes, that’s right: the woman whose delicate lines impressed judges on Dancing with the Stars, the former Bond girl and Dr. Quinn, is the neighbor from hell, they say! Seymour says this is not so.

“They say I’m never there. But that’s not true; I am in and out all the time, even if I don’t advertise the fact. They say, too, they are subjected to constant parties, but the last one held there was three years ago, for my mother’s 90th, at which the average age of the guest was 75.

“They say I don’t talk to them, but that is also untrue. I’ve talked to them a million times. I’ve also held fundraisers at the house for every single one of their charities, including the Theatre Royal Bath, and opened the house on countless occasions to the entire village, which, by the way, consists of only six houses.

“So they must have bussed in most of the 200 protesters. One of them was asked by the press what he was doing there and he said, ‘I’m here because Jane Seymour is hot’, or some such nonsense. It does make you wonder if any of this would be happening if I wasn’t well known.”

Probably not. That said, I wouldn’t want delivery vans stopping traffic in my neighborhood either. And I’ve been to parties with 75-year-olds, and they are some rowdy MFs when they haven’t had their Ensure.

In other news:

• Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson on the environment: “Ecologically speaking, a spilt tanker load is like sticking a safety pin into an elephant’s foot. The planet barely notices. After the Exxon Valdez accident in Alaska the oil company spent billions tidying up the coastline, but it was a waste of money because the waves were cleaning up faster than Exxon could. Environmentalists can never accept the planet’s ability to self-heal.”(The Times)
• Gordon Ramsay is giving his drug addict brother some “tough love.”
  (The Sun)
• Mel B. wants Victoria Beckham to design her gowns for Dancing With the Stars.(Daily Mail)
• David Beckham has rushed home to Britain after his father, Ted Beckham, suffered a heart attack. Victoria will arrive from Japan tomorrow.(BBC)
• Dangerous criminal Shilpa Shetty was arrested at Mumbai Airport for making out with Richard Gere.(Daily Mail)
• Surviving Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are going back to Liverpool, which has been selected as the European Capital of Culture for 2008.(Reuters)
• Martin Scorsese will direct a documentary about the life of McCartney and Starr’s late bandmate, George Harrison.(Gigwise)
• Princess Beatrice is making her film debut in a Martin Scorsese production. Lucky tart. (The Sun)
• Just days after announcing her miscarriage, Kerry Katona has discovered her unborn child is still alive. Her publicist tells The Sun: “After further examination it has been revealed that Kerry Katona is still pregnant.”
• Add Patrick Stewart to the list of actors, singers, and meter maids who want a part on Doctor Who.(Digital Spy)
• British actor Michael Evans, who played Victor Newman’s butt buddy confidante Colonel Douglas on the soap, The Young and the Restless, has died at 87, BBC NEWS reports.