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Did Victoria Beckham turn David into the screaming big girl’s blouse he is today? Roy Keane, manager of the Sunderland football club, claims today’s players are whipped by their overbearing WAGs. The Daily Telegraph says Keane’s misogyny is served with a side of sour grapes: his team recruitment program has faced several snubs, with players electing to live in the bright lights of London instead of hunkering down in Sunderland (pop. 177,000). Of course, it’s those birds who did it:

“We had a player this summer who didn’t even ring us back because his wife wanted to move to London; he didn’t even have the courtesy to pick the phone up to us and shopping was mentioned,” Keane said.

“I can understand the attraction of London if you go to Arsenal, Chelsea, maybe Spurs, but there are players just going there because it’s London and to me that’s wrong, clubs with half the crowds and less attention. It’s not a football move, it’s a lifestyle move, and they’re the type you don’t want at your club anyway. It tells me the player is weak and his wife runs his life.”

Clearly, they all should go gay. Problem solved. In the meantime, I’m dedicating this one to you, Mr. Roy Keane.

In other news:

  • The Times has listed the top ten most popular cars with footballers. The BMW X5, which costs north of $95,000, is the No. 1 choice.

  • Jade Goody wants a threesome with Posh ‘n’ Becks, shehas revealed.
    (The Sun)
  • Orlando Bloom is Cosmo’s sexiest man. (The Sun)
  • The Sun has early footage of a pre-X-Factor Leona Lewis.
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.