Jordan Reveals Peter Andre’s Asphyxiation Fetish

Our favorite living blow-up doll gives an interview with The Sun about the effects of her pregnancy, and the “WTF?” quotes just keep coming:

“I am one million per cent having a boob job after the birth.

“It will be my fourth, but I want new implants, possibly smaller, and to perk them up a bit.

“And if I have a new boob job they will be exclusive to Pete – nobody else will have touched them…

“Pete is fascinated by my huge boobs. He calls them my ‘gazallas’ and asks if he can touch them.

“But sometimes they are so sore I snap his head off.

“He likes to bury his head in them and for me to squash them together so he almost suffocates.”

No words. I would ask her to conserve some of those bons mots for her reality show, but for some reason I believe the reservoir’s barely been tapped.

Kevin Wicks

Kevin Wicks founded BBCAmerica.com's Anglophenia blog back in 2005 and has been translating British culture for an American audience ever since. While not British himself - he was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri - he once received inordinate hospitality in London for sharing the name of a dead but beloved EastEnders character. His Anglophilia stems from a high school love of Morrissey, whom he calls his "gateway drug" into British culture.

See more posts by Kevin Wicks