Charlotte Church Is Pregnant, Heather Mills Fears Losing Her “Strap-On”

The gossip newsletter Holy Moly broke the story first, and now Charlotte Church‘s people are confirming it: she is indeed knocked up, up the duff, bun in the freakin’ oven. Here’s her management’s official statement in The Daily Mail:

“Charlotte has asked us to bring you the news exclusively today that she is pregnant.

“For reasons of privacy, Charlotte has chosen not to comment on this matter, other than to confirm that she and her boyfriend, Gavin Henson, are delighted.

“In an ideal world, we would not have made this announcement so early in the pregnancy.

“However, due to recent speculation and persistent questions from the media about this most private of matters, Charlotte felt she had no choice other than to go public and she was keen to ensure that her fans had the opportunity to read the truth here first.”

Well, my cynicism must be fading in my old age: I attributed Charl’s newfound sobriety to some born-again transformation. Well, congrats on the bambino, Charl. I’m sure you’ll make a fabu mum.

I’d say she “stumbled” into this one, so to speak: The Sun takes perverse but predictablepleasure in Heather Mills‘ fear that “that her false leg will fall off” when she performs on Dancing With the Stars. They later refer to her as “the one-legged ex-model.” I’m surprised that they didn’t catch that Heather calls her prosthesis a “strap-on,” which places her marriage to Sir Paul McCartney in a brand-new perspective.

Speaking of that, Paul and Heather’s court battle is providing The Sun with all the drama they were looking for: the paper reports that Heather “stormed from the building after a judge threw out many of her lurid claims against the pop legend.”

In other news:

• NBC finally confirms the Victoria Beckham reality series. It will air in six half-hour installments over the summer.
• The winners of the NME Awards will be posted here once they are announced. Will Robbie Williams win “Worst Album” as predicted?
• Lookie here: Stereogum has the first Arctic Monkeys single from their new album: “Brianstorm.”
• With a name like Joss Stone, how can you blame her for partaking in the “the occasional spliff”?(Mirror)
• Did Pete Doherty play “Pass the Dutchie” with a penguin?
• Grazia magazine has apologized to Kate Winslet over the publication’s claims she visited a diet doctor. Winslet had threatened to sue the magazine.
• Another article that compares the UK version of The Office to the American version.
• Sacha Baron Cohen‘s cousin, Ash Baron Cohen, will direct Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis in the dark comedy, Poor Things.(Variety)
• Thanks to the many film adaptations, Jane Austen‘s Pride and Prejudice is No. 1 in a world book poll.(Guardian)
• The Guardian‘s Will Davis dismisses the Anne Hathaway movie about Austen, suggesting it should be re-titled “Portrait of the Artist as a Hot Chick.”
• Jane Seymour talks about playing a “sex-mad, mini-skirted doc” in a new American sitcom.(The Sun)
• Victoria Newton and The Sun continue their smear campaign against Beth Ditto by posting the most unflattering photo of The Gossip lead singer possible.
• Pet Shop Boys are touring the UK for the first time in five years.(Gigwise)
• Piers Morgan and Naomi Campbell battle it out in a GQ interview, excerpted by The Independent. I can’t believe there is actually more to this nonsense in the magazine, but there are some revelations: she never dated Sylvester Stallone, Prince Albert, Leonardo DiCaprio, or Lenny Kravitz.
• Royal author David Starkey calls Helen Mirren‘s portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II “unconvincing.”
• Season Three of Doctor Who will premiere March 31st on the BBC, the network confirms.
• The people of Belfast debate Prince Charles‘ declaration that McDonald’s fast food should be banned in the UK.
• Kelly Osbourne‘s cousin, Terry Longden, reveals he’s the Osbourne family member who was diagnosed with HIV. Kelly had previously caused a stir when she revealed that someone in her family was suffering from the disease.
• Sienna Miller clears up that long-running rumor that she’s a slut.