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This morning, the Associated Press released an article signalling Kate Middleton‘s entrance into the world spotlight. “Prince William‘s girlfriend, Kate Middleton, may one day become queen of England. Before then, she is undergoing the ordeal seemingly demanded of royal wannabes since Lady Diana Spencer began dating Prince Charles more than a quarter-century ago.” Yes, Middleton is a major target for the paps, as we’ve seen in recent months. Now, as Middleton is “eased” into the royal family, the Prince of Wales’ lawyers are fighting back against the pestering photographers. From The Times:

The law firm Harbottle & Lewis is warning newspapers and broadcasters to “sharpen up their act” or face legal action. A spokesman for Clarence House said: “Ms. Middleton is a private individual and as such can expect to have the privacy and private life that would be enjoyed by any member of the public.”

The missive the royals have issued to the papers is couched in concern for Middleton’s safety. Many are comparing the pursuit of Middleton to that of the late Princess Diana, who died in an auto accident fleeing from paparazzi.

The Sun newspaper is reportedly the first one to comply with the new “respect” for Lady Middleton:

Last night a senior editorial executive at The Sun said that the paper had decided not to use any more paparazzi pictures of Ms Middleton. They they would no longer be part of the “media circus” outside her door, he added.

Great. We wonder how long this will last. Remember that they were one of the biggest violators in the past. (Where did we find those shots of Middleton arguing with a traffic officer? Yeah, that’s right.)

Also: will Prince William miss Kate’s 25th birthday today because he’s serving his country?

Do the 3am girls work anymore? They seem so willing to hand over their editorial reigns to putzes like Donny Tourette, the former Celebrity Big Brother houseguest and lead singer of the Towers of London. We didn’t mind it when Girls Aloud guest-edited 3am because, frankly, we get a kick out of them. But Mr. Tourette appears to be working overtime to appear like a major knobhead. Oh, I get it…it’s punk attitude:

  • He gets his own platform from which to spew bile at other, more well-known bands and artists. Like the Arctic Monkeys (“The Arctic Monkeys have no sense of humour, they take themselves so seriously. They’re drab, man.”) and Lily Allen (“She’s not very classy, I don’t like her music and don’t think she should have been on the cover of NME.”).

  • He challenges Russell Brand to a swordfight (“It will be a good match because I’ve lost count of how many women I’ve slept with since I hit 300 – and Russ has probably done the same.” )
  • Says he’d love to “have a fling” with Joss Stone, which would make us lose the final shred of respect we have for the ersatz R&B singer.
  • In his most headline-making claim, he says he did crack with Pete Doherty after a Babyshambles concert.

If you’re not familiar with the Towers of London, here are their videos for “How Rude She Was” and “Air Guitar”. Frankly, Rancid does more with the whole ’77 punk thing.

Moving on to real originals: I was excited to hear that Morrissey is in talks to write Britain’s entry into the Eurovision Song Contest! I give the BBC credit for approaching him; they were much more likely to get a “Who the f*** are you?” than an affirmative answer from the prickly Moz. But, as it turns out, when Morrissey, after Britain failed to win this year’s Eurovision, asked why he wasn’t approached to write the song, he wasn’t joking. From Telegraph:

“I was horrified but not surprised to see the UK fail. Why didn’t they ask me?” said Morrissey.

His comments were taken as a joke by everyone but the BBC, which approached him about writing this year’s entry. A BBC spokeswoman said: “Morrissey said that he would be interested in doing it so we approached him and we are currently in discussion.

“Nothing is confirmed and we are also talking to other people.

“Morrissey would be writing the song for someone else rather than performing himself.”

I often find Morrissey covers odd because his acid, ironic personality and unique vocal phrasing are so inextricable from his lyrics. It’s hard not to read his words and not hear Morrissey’s voice in your head. But a good singer–most likely a female like a Nancy Sinatra or a Sandie Shaw–could really knock it out of the stadium for Britain. It’ll be interesting to see what he comes up with, if he does in fact pen the tune.

In other news:

  • Alan Cumming got hitched in Britain and lobbed a political statement about the gay marriage bans in the U.S.(E!)

  • Also: the How Not To Decorate boys prepare for their wedding.(Daily Mail)
  • Ronald Bergan of The Guardian lists his favorite unseen movies of the year and suggests that film culture get shaken up a bit. “Perhaps it’s time to separate films on the lines of music criticism into ‘classical’ and ‘pop.’ No music critic is expected to review both Blur and Boulez. Thus with awards. The Baftas and the Oscars should be labelled what they are – the film equivalent of the MTV awards or the Eurovision song contest.”
  • Why has it taken so long for Forest Whitaker to get success?(Guardian)
  • Kylie Minogue dethrones Kate Moss as the “best-dressed female” in Glamour magazine. David Beckham was best-dressed male.(MSNBC)
  • From The Daily Mail: does Keira Knightley look frighteningly skinny in these photos taken of her frolicking on the beach with boyfriend Rupert Friend?
  • Should Daniel Craig earn a Best Actor nod for Casino Royale? Love him, but this news ruins him a bit for me…
  • Noel Gallagher “lets slip” that he’s worth £14 million ($28 million).(Gigwise)
  • Is Robbie Williams going Bollywood?(Monsters and Critics)
  • The last Harry Potter installment, which has yet to get a release date, has zoomed to the top of Amazon’s best-seller list.(Mirror)
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By Kevin Wicks
Kevin Wicks is the founding editor of Anglophenia.