Harry Potter Like You’ve REALLY Never Seen Him Before

If you watched Extras last night, you saw him fling an unrolled condom on Dame Diana Rigg‘s head. If that didn’t completely and utterly sully his family-friendly image, check out some photos of Daniel Radcliffe promoting his controversial theater debut in Equus. One photo features his nearly nude body splayed out against a white horse like the crucified Jesus. Thankfully, Danny’s sporting enough of a five-o’clock shadow and treasure trail to drive off the NAMBLA freaks, but he still retains that boyishness that makes gawking at him a bit uncomfortable. Well, if I’m going to hell, I’m taking all of you with me…

Richard Hammond‘s Top Gear car crash may have beaten Shilpa Shetty’s Big Brother win in the ratings, but we all know who the real victor is. While Jade Goody‘s career is in the crappper, Shetty is fielding manifold offers from writers and directors outside of her native Bollywood. One of the writers seeking Shetty’s services is our own Sanjeev Bhaskar of Kumars at No. 42. Will she end up on Kumars or in her own sitcom vehicle developed by Sanjeev? He sings Shetty’s praises in today’s Mirror:

“Shilpa Shetty has maintained poise, grace and compassion in the house.

“She has acted as a young, well brought-up modern Indian and has ironically presented traits that most people outside of India consider to be traditional British values.

“All of this in the face of sustained snide and adolescent attitudes from some of her housemates, she needs to be congratulated.

“If there is another series of The Kumars, then she would be most welcome at No 42, although I think she would be an interesting guest at the call centre if the project goes to series.”

Bhaskar is referring to a sitcom set in an “Indian call center,” which is being developed for the BBC. It would be a quite impressive launching pad for Shetty. Let’s just hope she can sustain the goodwill she’s earned in the past few weeks.

Also: clearly jealous of all the bad ink Jade Goody is getting these days, Danielle Lloyd proves she can be the bigger bitch.(Mirror)

If the controversy surrounding the racist bullying wasn’t enough, a blunder with phone numbers forced producers to restart the eviction vote.(The Times)

In other news:

• Jamie Oliver has no ambitions to compete with Gordon Ramsay in America, he tells The Independent. “I’ve been in the States for seven to eight years. Gordon has gone in the last couple of years and is much more well known. Good luck to him. It’s a tough country and if he can pull it off, crack on. We do different stuff and luckily we’ve never got into the verbal rucks that everyone else seems to get into with him. I respect what he does and I think he respects what I do.”
• Camilla drips in diamonds and rubies and beguiles Rod Stewart. I’m sorry, but what a hideously gaudy necklace. I don’t care how much it costs.
  (Daily Mail)
• Daniel Craig, Eva Green (in kabuki makeup?), and director Martin Campbell premiere Casino Royale in China, the first ever Bond movie released there.(BBC)
• An excerpt from a revealing Russell Brand biography.(Daily Mail)
• Sacha Baron Cohen is the 19th most powerful man in Britain, according to GQ magazine, which would know that sort of thing.(Yahoo!)
• The “Auld Slapper,” a 52-year-old grandma allegedly used as a prostitute by Wayne Rooney, has her libel suit against The Sun thrown out of court.(Ireland Online)
• Your guide to “critic-speak”: what reviewers say (“They’re the new Libertines”) vs. what they really mean (“The guitarist is on drugs”) in a witty post from the Guardian.
• Tanya Bower alerts me that Gabrielle Union is set to “bring it” in the American version of Footballers Wive$. Nuh uh, Miss Thang, it’s already. been. brought.